Monday, January 28, 2008

• the rain brings out the crazies...

  
  
  case #1:
  *phone conversation*
  lady: hi i wanted to know if you had any more of the bedford pillows in the blueish green?
  me: no.
  lady: hmm. can you check online if the other stores have it?
  me: ok hold on.
  *checks online.*
  me: ok the website is sold out.
  lady: oh.. no... i coulda told you that.. can you check online if the other stores have it?
  me: i did.. i checked online.. the website?
  lady: OH! no, i meant the stores.. can you check the stores?
  me: oh ok hold on. *dumbass!*.
  *checks store locater*
  me: hi, the nearest store is in palo alto or woodland hills.
  lady: hmm.. woodland hills is too far. can i get the number to palo alto?
  me: sure, but you realize palo alto is farther than woodland hills, right?
  lady: oh? isn't it by century city?
  me: no, that's palos VERDES. Palo Alto is about 400 miles north of here, it's closest to san jose as a major city.
  lady: oh. ok that's fine.. what's their number?
  *what a dumbass!* i give the number.*
  lady: ok thanks. can you transfer me now?
  me: what?
  lady: can you transfer me to that store on the phone?
  me: uhh.. no.. this isn't a call center.
  lady: oh.. hmm.. okay....
  me: yeah.. you'd have to call that number i gave you... like physically dial it. the same way you dialed our store.
  lady: oh... okay then.. thanks.
  *click*
  what the fuck???
  
  case #2:
  we are the closest store to huntington beach, long beach, fullerton, brea, north oc basically, and south la, with the exception of palos verdes rolling hills estates, but even PV is kinda far out cuz it's on that stupid peninsula with all the damn well.. rolling hills. haha. it's not exactly near a freeway or anything convenient.. at least scp is by the 405/55/73 interchange and john wayne airport.
  
  lady didn't want to drive to our store because she lives "30-40 miles" away in long beach. which.. is about 15-20 miles.. but whatever. i google mapped it.. in order for it to be 30-40 miles away, she'd have to live in inglewood or gardena or by LAX. she'd drive pass PV to get to our store from that distance.
  
  anyhoo, she didn't want to drive the "30-40" miles to return a (kinda heavy) floor lamp because it was defective. however, she was able to drive to work with the lamp in the car.. and her work has a UPS store right next door (according to her) and she has the ability to print her own label at the UPS store to ship it back to us... but she refused to do so. So with the lamp in her car and she toted to work and back, she had us send her... MAIL her a UPS shipping LABEL so that she can SHIP IT TO OUR STORE BACK to us... so that she can do the return.
  
  how fucking lazy??? i'm sure she'll be in SCP sooner or later ANYWAY.. fucking dumbshits!!
  
  case #3:
  *phone conversation*
  lady: do you have a specific item in stock? it's the plush foot duvets in adult sizes? any color is ok.
  me: nope.
  lady: can you check another store? i'm driving, i can't check right now.
  me: *you shouldn't be on the phone!! GET OFF THE PHONE WHOREBAG!* we're all sold out.. but i'll check anyway just in case. can i put you on hold?
  *checks - all negative.*
  me: ok thanks for holding.. the computer is showing newport beach, fashion island--
  lady: no, i just came from there.. they don't have any. what's the nearest store after that?
  me: mission viejo.
  lady: no i called them yesterday.. they're out too. any other stores?
  me: well the next nearest one is in san diego, at the university town center, in la jolla.. and the next closest to that is in fashion valley
  lady: how about brea?
  me: we're the closest one to brea and north county.
  lady: how about fullerton or anaheim?
  me: ma'am.. we're the closest to those and north county. look, there are three OC stores. mission viejo, newport beach, and us. that's it. no more.
  lady: ok how about long beach?
  me: the closest store to long beach is us. unless you go north then the nearest store is palos verdes rolling hills estates.
  lady: hmm. how bout north?
  me: well if you get into los angeles county, which you are because that starts with long beach, then you have about 6-7 or so stores. there's santa monica 3rd street, century city, beverly center, glendale galleria, camarillo, santa barbara, woodland hills, pasadena...
  lady: oh.. so none in north oc?
  me: *sigh* we are the store for north oc.
  lady: how about riverside/sgv?
  me: that's us again.
  lady: how about san bernadino?
  me: ma'am, do you live in all these places? because the answer to all your questions is: OUR STORE is the closest.
  lady: oh.. ok.. do you know who would have the foot duvets then?
  me: yes. everyone else who bought them early and at full price that gave them as christmas presents during the holiday season. that's who has them. for sale? no one. try eBay.
  lady: oh... shucks.. i guess i shoulda bought them too instead of waiting for them to go on sale.. darnit!!
  me: uh huhhhhh.......... *can i hang up on you now?*
  lady: ok well.. thanks for the help...
  * i just fuckin hang up.. not even a 'bye, thanks for calling' bullshit.*
  
  case #4 wins the stupid customer award:
  we have these 20% preferred customer coupons that was emailed out a couple weeks ago that's valid on all regular price items (basically furniture and window coverings/hardware and knobs/pulls). it states on the email/print out that it's not valid on previous purchases (for price adjustments), gift certificates, or sale items, and that it expires end of day tomorrow (01/28/08).
  
  lady comes in with a coupon and wants a price adjustment for some things that she purchased on friday at the mission viejo store. she said that she forgot the coupon at home and they told her that it's okay, and that they can adjust the total for her if she brings the coupon in.
  
  lady: but the mission viejo store said i could just bring it in and it'd be no problem!
  RH: ok that's fine, then you'd have to go down there and do it with them.
  lady: but aren't you the same store?!
  RH: we're the same COMPANY, not the same store. we're south coast plaza. you're in costa mesa. mission viejo is about 20 miles south of here.
  lady: so you're saying i have to drive down there?!?
  RH: yes.. if they said they can do it, then it's easiest if you just went down there. they obviously know what's going on for your transaction, so they will honor it for you. we won't and can't honor it for you because we didn't do it. we would've required you to have the coupon, or printed up one for you to fill out on the spot.
  lady *yelling*: what the fuck!! this is fucked up!!! can't you just give me the coupon adjustment??!?!
  RH: ma'am, i'm going to have to ask you to quiet down and control yourself, or we're going to be forced to call security and remove you from the building... and you'll be blacklisted from ever entering the mall - ever again.
  lady still yelling: are you fucking kidding me?? are you fucking threatening me?!?!?!!!!!11111oneoneone!!
  RH on the walkie talkies: *can someone please call security and tell them we have an irate customer that is causing a scene and disturbing the other shoppers?*
  *calls security*
  in the mean time, the lady was causing a huge scene and ruckus and demanded her 20% savings (would've equated to about $100 or so... seems like a lot of rant and raving for $100. if it was iono.. $1,000 then yes, i would be whiny/bitchy, but actually.. if it was me, and i really wanted to save that much money, i'd drive down to the MV store and do it there.. )
  *security arrives*
  lady: OK OK FINE! ILL FUCKING GO! I'LL NEVER SHOP HERE EVER AGAIN!!
  *as she's leaving, the store uproars in applause and whistles*
  
  oh... my.... GAWD.
  
  --- on a good note... today is diva's 2nd birthday. happy birthday diva!!
  
  
  
  

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