what can I say... I'm sorry, for whatever I did to whoever, or what I will do, or might do or if someone takes something the wrong way, and I'm sorry that it ever might happen or ever did happen, and I'm sorry that I'm going on this Ritsu-esque rant... I just want to cover all bases of sorryness... so I can stop feeling so bad for as far as I know... doing nothing.... but I might have... but not intentionally... and it's keeping me awake@.@ fear that I've upset people even when I didn't do anything...I think... but everything I do, and everything I say I'm fearful that someone might take it the wrong way and just get upset and I don't want to make someone upset and sometimes I cannot sleep because I remember something that I did or said that day that might have or have not upsest someone... I'm kinda tired of feeling sorry for existing, I have the right to talk and breathe but usually I feel like I'm lower than dirt and I'm SOORRRRRRRRRY... the councillor gave me the best advice ever before school let out... just take people's words as words... don't try and look for hidden meanings... if  a person says hello but in a mockish or sarcastic tone... it's just a person saying hello, so say hello back... you cannot control other's emotions but you can control your own... and when people get mad at me and I don't know or understand* for that matter* why, I feel the deepest depression and regret for something as simple as saying a word the wrong way, even if I didn't mean to....it just comes out that way, I don't sit there and say, well now I'm going to talk lower or higher... I usually just speak what's on my mind without waiting to long and how it comes out is not on purpose... it just comes out and that is what matters, the feeling that maybe I have something to contribute, that maybe I can help or just to talk... because I hate silence @.@ I really do.... it's the only thing I do hate, I don't even hate spiders... they just really freak me out.... but anyway, even now I fear that this entry will upset peoples and am unsure wether or not to keep it posted out of fear that it would cause some offense to anyone and everyone out there.... when I think I'm smiling *or rather when it feels like I'm smiling* everyone else just sees a straight face, and unless I see a mirror, for all I know I'm smiling as big as the rest of them...but ahh to stop my rant.... I'm going to go now and last but not least, have a nice day