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Gorgeous
By Bradley James Allan, Jackie Chan, Emil Chau, Sung Young Chen, Stephen Chow
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Valentine's day went off better than I thought it would. Not to say it was great, just that I avoided adding frustration, and irritation to the numbing loneliness. Ironic then that I chose to try and make the day more bearable through isolation. I took the day off, leaving only to watch Jumper. It was okay. Also better than I expected. My torments are of my own creation, from to much introspection, and not enough action.
Right now that means confronting someone giving me the cold shoulder, ask them why they are being the way they're being. I've never been great with people, so I'll probably just let it stay the way it is.
Also, action means trying to find a date. Someone to just hang out with for a while. This is frustrating since my few attempts in the last few months have all ended pretty negatively, or just not at all. For example, getting a girls number (which I had always thought meant some kind of approval), and then being rebuffed, and treated like a creep after a single call to set up a rendezvous for coffee. I'm not even kidding. She went from giving me her number, to ignoring me while talking to one of my friends like I wasn't there. I didn't even have a chance to be an asshole. I can be one, I'm fucked up enough, I just wasn't one this time. Throw in a of 2 "thats sweet" speeches and one "oh, I'm seeing someone", and I'm lost. I don't do meth, and I won't beat on anyone, so I obviously have nothing to offer.
I could go on the poor me riff for a long time, but thats not what I want to do. I just need to state that Valentines Day is a fake bullshit holiday. It's designed to sell cards, candy, and has an "acceptable side effect" of making single people feel lonelier than usual.
On an up note (not everything has to be doom and gloom) I finally have something to show of a website. Not much, just the most basic framework (which I should have re-written today, but was channeling to much self-defeatism), and a game review. I'm waiting on my Php book from Amazon, and will hopefully get this whole deal up to par pretty quickly. My writing, I can't guarantee will improve, so if I get any of you to check the site regularly, don't expect much in that area. Anyway, take a gander...
http://www.fatamericanthumb.net/, and no, it's not a porn site. Didn't think about it when I named it, but thats everyones first impression. Once again, I feel like I missing something.
Comments (2)
Hasta la Linux!