Sunday, May 11, 2008

• the importance of saying goodnight

  for some random, obscure reason that even i probably don't know the extent of, goodnights and goodbyes are incredibly important.
  i don't know if i'm subconsciously afraid of dying in my sleep or having a heart attack before the next time i get to talk to anyone... or am maybe just hoping there is a merciful god that will put me out of my misery before morning... but either way it's terribly, awfully, unreasonably important that i leave people on good terms.
  
  needless to say (and yet somehow i find myself saying it anyway.) last night was wretched. and i did not sleep at all. i deliriously wrote some of this silly poem.... while crying on my poor cat, who kept coming and sitting on me even though his fur was getting wet. god i love Walter. isn't it ridiculous that an animal that doesn't even understand the emotion should show it better than any human ever could?

  and in case the world
  caves in while we're asleep
  i just want you to know
  what you meant to me,
  and in our last moments               
  as we so greedily
  swallow up the universe
  and leave only the
  blackest part of the sky,
  soon forgotten like
  the skin you loved
  which will peel
  (both of ours)
  away to reveal,
  like the stars
  as they fall,
  nothing at all.
  and hopefully then
  we'll cast our eyes
  to empty heaven
  and wish we'd said
  goodbye
  because we'll never
  speak again.
  
  
  and for some reason the two seconds it would take to appease me regarding this matter.. are not worth it. or weren't last night.
  

  • 3:04 PM
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