8:10 p.m....I finally found Rita. I looked for her for over 2 hours. Then I heard her distinctive meow (yes....every cat sounds different), and she went under the fence across the street. She was just cowering under the fence and wouldn't come out. I finally was able to reach her collar and drag her out. When I picked her up, she was so scared. We think she had actually been out for a couple of days. We haven't been home much in the last couple of days to know she wasn't in the house. She sunk her claw into my forehead because she was scared, so that's going to be a little sore. But when I brought her in the house, she ran straight for the food dish.

She went to the same house she was at when we found her 2 years ago in September. Everybody else in our neighborhood had evacuated because of Hurricane Rita, and they left her....just a kitten.....to fend for herself. So we took her in.

6:45 p.m.....Please pray. I just realized our cat, Rita, is missing. Taz discovered how to get outside, and I think Rita must have followed her. This is Beth and Rita about a year ago:

Our pastor is a crisis care counselor. He's the one who often has to deliver the news to family that a loved one has died. Yesterday his message was on grief.

Grief is caused when something happens to violate our world view. It could be a death, war, job loss, illness, a burglary of your home, or many other things. It's traumatic.

Holding grief inside can be traumatic in itself. There is nothing shameful about displaying grief. We, in the west, don't display grief quite the way it is done in places such as the Middle East, where they wail and carry the casket through the street, but neither should we keep it bottled up.

Grief is painful. And it's hard work. It is absolutely exhausting. When our daughter died, I would get so worn out, just from dealing with my emotions. And women typically do better than men. Women are less embarrassed by crying. Men tend to think it's unmanly to cry. (God made men with tear ducts, too.) I do tend to get embarrassed when I cry, eventhough I cry very easily. That comes from having heard others make fun of those who cry. When I was a teenager, there was a woman in our church who cried over everything. She had some severe emotional problems. But even church members made fun of her. I took note of that and always made every attempt to hide my tears. It's sad that fellow Christians do things like that to each other.

Many times Christians feel that displaying grief is a sign of spiritual weakness. Unfortuanately, there have been people that taught that if you are giving your burdens to God, you won't have that grief. Hogwash.

Grief is a lingering process and often takes years to heal. The memory will always be there, but over time, the emotions will be less and less. I still cry sometimes when I think of our daughter, Rachel, but I don't feel the deep sadness that I once did. It's been almost 24 years.

I've read the different stages of grief, and they seem to be different according to who is writing them. Some say there are 5...some say 4. But no matter how many actual stages there are, there is a predictable cycle of grief - generally denial/shock, anger, guilt/bargaining, and finally, acceptance. Acceptance doesn't mean it's over....it simply means the person acknowledges the loss and makes an attempt to move on with life.

But the cycle of grief can start all over again, when another trauma happens on top of it. It's compounded. That's what happens in wars. Someone in the military loses a friend, and is going through the healing process, when another loss happens on top of the first, or second, and so on. It takes much longer to heal that way.

Different people grieve differently. We cannot expect every person to have the same way of dealing with loss. But the key to acceptance of the loss is working through the grief. If the emotions are not vented, there will eventually be an explosion.

Our pastor is a former police officer and is currently a police chaplain. Police officers often practice what is called "stuffing it". They bottle up emotions and don't express them. That's why in law enforcement, there is a high rate of alcoholism, suicide and divorce. The grief and pressure from keeping emotions inside, eventually ruins lives. And it isn't just the life of the one grieving that gets ruined. It also affects loved ones.

Members of the military will likely do it, too.

Do you tend to think nobody understands what you are going through? That may be true from a human standpoint. But God knows. Because God grieves, too. And God knows every little detail of your thoughts and experiences. He understands.

Isa 53:3.....3 He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. NKJV

That is a foretelling of what Jesus would go through on the earth.

I'd like to add a thought here, though. People may not understand exactly what you have been through. But they can help. They can comfort. A wife just cannot know exactly what her husband has been through in the war, unless she was there, too. But she can still help him work through it.  

God the Father grieves.

Gen 6:6-7.....The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain. NIV

I was reading through a commentary on that scripture, to find a better way to explain it. That is written in human terms, but it doesn't actually mean God was sorry he made humans. God's plans are perfect, and He can't be shaken. Therefore, he isn't sorry he made humans. But He was hurt that humans - those he formed and provided for - were rejecting Him and behaving in an evil manner. It is like a human father - he loves his child and isn't sorry that child was born, but he can sure grieve that the child is behaving in a manner he shouldn't.

God the Son was grieved. We already talked about Jesus being aquainted with grief on the earth. He was hated. But Jesus also cried.

John 11:32-37.....32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."

33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied.

35 Jesus wept.

36 Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" 37 But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?" NIV

Jesus wasn't grieving because Lazarus had died, eventhough he loved Lazarus. Jesus was showing compassion for the friends who were in obvious pain from the death of a loved one. But look at verses 36 and 37. The Jewish friends - who were not believers in Christ - were finding fault with what Jesus had done. Jesus had not kept Lazarus from dying in the first place, and they didn't like it.

Jesus wept....because he was grieving for the spiritual health of the Jews who were rejecting Him. They would not open their eyes and see that Jesus was the promised Messiah...the one who could save them from the consequences of their sin. He was grieved that they were so willfully blind.

There was a purpose in the death of Lazarus. It showed the glory of God. Both sisters told Jesus, "If you had been here, my brother would not have died." And that's exactly why Jesus delayed getting there for 2 more days. Lazarus had been dead 4 days by the time Jesus arrived. There was absolutely no doubt in anybody's mind that he was dead. So when he came back to life at Jesus' command, it showed the awesome power of God. If Jesus had been there at the moment Lazarus died, and immediately raised him, the Jews would have said he was only unconscious and not really dead.

And the Holy Spirt also can grieve:

Eph 4:29-30..... 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. NIV

Grief measures the meaning of our attachments. The stronger our attachment, the more we grieve. We grieve more over the loss of a beloved family member than we do for a neighbor down the street. The greater our unity and closeness, the greater our grief.

But our grief will end one day.

Isa 65:19.....19 I will rejoice in Jerusalem and delight in my people. And the sound of weeping and crying will be heard no more. NLT

Rev 21:4.....4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."  NIV

Grief is a fact of life....it will touch everyone on this earth sooner or later. And for those who do not accept Jesus as Savior and Lord, that grief will continue for eternity. But for those who accept Him and obey Him, that grief will come to an end. He will take us to Heaven to spend eternity with Him, and we will not suffer anymore.