I understand that God allows many things to happen in one's life....However, it is almost impossible for me to begin understanding why he gave me the individuals that I call "family"....I have never seen such a disunited group of people. I cannot believe how selfish towards us my dad has become, and how ungrateful my brother is. It is almost impossible for me to sit here and tolerate having us all under the same roof. I have tried, over and over again to have patience thinking that one day it will all change. What I get is a huge headache, dissapointment and their lack of respect. Even my aunt was surprise to here my dad disrespect me and talk to me in such a demeaning manner. In actuality a lot of people are surprise at the way my dad talks to me and talks about me. Of course, why don't I talk back to him in the same fashion? Simply because my dad is just ignorant of his actions. And truly ignorant I must add! Why? Because his whole life he has felt that it was ok to disrespect anyone since he sees himself as a "grand sir" Also, because he believes himself to have been a good dad and based on this believe we should have turned out to be really well off and good to do kids. However, he doesn't realize how many mistakes he has made while raising us. Of course I don't hold him to them considering the fact that he did it alone. But, he should also be understanding of this fact or at least try to understand so that he won't continue making the same mistakes cosidering we are still young adults. On the other hand there is also my brother who has felt that he needs not to appreciate anything in life because my dad has taught him that you should never gives thanks. How could my dad teach us such a bad thing...We should be very grateful of what we have because it is not in our right and also we might not be able to enjoy the same things that we have now tomorrow because tomorrow is not guaranteed. I feel as if this were to be a punishment that I am paying for due to the fault of a previous ancestor and I am just unaware of it all.....sigh.....Why couldn't I have been blessed with a loving, caring, united, family.......
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And I bet thats the reason your leaving for Chicago and then Colorado huh? Anyway keep your head up hun, ttyl...