Last night I had a very special IM conversation with my eldest daughter. I had been thinking how each child is different and is unique. I know that there are alot of books and theories that says we can use one parenting style for all our children but I dont agree. Each child has a different tempermant and love language.While there will always have to be rules and parameters...and consequences for disobedience...we also have to tailor make how we relate and discipline each child. Yes, the Bible does tell us to discipline our children for rebellion. But, even God dealt with his children differently.
Take for instance in the garden of eden, both Adam and Eve had consequences for their disobeying God, but 1st their consequences were not identicle and second, he gave them a promise of hope. Through Eve would come a son, and the enemy would bruise his heal, but the son would crush the enemy's head. Although they were driven out of Eden, God provided for them clothing. It was actually and act of mercy..driving them out of Eden, because God knew that through His son, all who would believe, would be able to be in relationship with God again for ever. Had they eaten from the Tree of Life, they would never have died and would have been seperated eternally from God, their loving Father that freely gave them everything they needed and desired to have a relationship with them.
Then, we have Abraham, he made many mistakes, lied about his wife, slept with his wife's maid but God blessed him even though he was not perfect. Abraham suffered consequences from having 2 sons from different women. Namely the Arab/Israeli conflict because they both claim the inheritance of Abraham their Father.
How about Sarah his wife? When God said she would have a son next year, she laughed...she denied it(lied to GOd outright) and did God zap her into oblivion for that lie? No, he just said "Nay, but you did laugh" and the following year she had a son.
When David "a man after God's own heart committed adultery and then murdered the husband of Bathsheba, God sent a prophet to convict David of the sin. The Lord allowed the first child of that adulterous relationship to die at a young age. But, their second child, Solomon, became the wisest King in all of History.
God, as my example, has shown me that he deals with his childrens shortcomings and sins differently. Sometimes severly, like with Ananias and Saphira in the book of Acts, and sometimes gently like the woman caught in the act of adultery. But, besides the punishment, he also seeks to RESTORE his children.
So while it may seem to my own children that I am not consistent with my discipline and methods, it is tailored to fit each one of them. Some need a sharper rebuke, and others a gently encouragement to turn from sin, but always there needs to be restoration in the relationship. Mercy needs to be shown as often as possible .God does not FORCE our obedience, he asks us for it. And when we fail he does not always punish us and there are not always consequences, this is not license to sin, but it is showing us his mercy. Mercy = not getting the punishment we deserve.
I have to learn when do there need to be consequences and when to apply mercy. Sometimes I probably punish when there should be mercy and sometimes I offer mercy when their should be punishment. At least I know that with God, he is always just in whether we receive our deserved consequences or mercy.
May the Lord extend his hand of mercy upon you, not for license to sin, but because we have a sin nature and could never stand up under what we rightly deserve.
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