| I would have to say this was the best week ever..
Phillies celebrations,
World record breaking pinata celebrations..
Presidential celebrations
... and birthday celebrations
Wow.
There are so many people I appreciate.. so many people I can never truly express my gratitude and affection for.
It's because of you that I have been as strong as I am now.
You don't know this.. but sometimes being around you or thinking of you brings me to tears with how lucky I feel.
I always hold it back.. so the tears don't come out... but the feeling is there.
Right now..
I thought of you.. and it made me miss you so much. My eyes burst forth with tears.. and no matter how hard I try I can't stop myself...
This time last year you were here to celebrate with me.. you were here to blow out the candles with me. I guess I'm not completely over with it..
But there's a spot for you that no one could ever fill...
You weren't perfect.. but you were mine. So cheers to a great time together...
As time passes... it feels even more crucial to keep anything related to you.. not because I'm scared of forgetting. That could never happen...
.. I just want to feel close to you again.
>>::_MT_::<<
|
| |
| It feels like I'm finally being honest..
and yet I'm too scared to say it.
Everything comes so vividly.. and deep down
When I don't hold myself back.. I know what it all means
But I don't think I'll ever be able to say it..
All it is is Fear.
I just have to get beyond that for the Truth to come out..
But sometimes Fear seems like an impossible enemy to overcome.
>>::_MT_::<<
|
| |
| Sometimes..
only sometimes when I dare....
I wonder if you can hear me. . I wonder if you remember us..
And sometimes...
just sometimes when I'm brave...
I'll think of you... and of the memories..
But it hurts... and so I don't dare to indulge..
With every vision comes a thousand pangs of sorrow.
Give me the strength I need.
We're leaving soon.. leaving it all behind
And in a way it doesn't feel right. It feels like we're leaving you behind.. everything that you've made for us behind.. all those years behind..
It's strange to start over without you.. and honestly...
I really don't want to. I JUST DON'T WANT TO!!!
>>::_MT_::<<
|
| |
| I thought the worst of it was through.
I thought I was strong enough.. that all had been tested.
I had such hope that we were making it back to the top.. to the sunny days
How dumb am I?
Darkness surrounds us longer.. the worst is yet to come.
I pray that things will be ok-- I try so hard to be strong.. but what if I just can't be any stronger...
I knew I had to grow up. I knew we would be tested.. But this is torture. I've learned my lessons.. let me go!
And through it all.. she has the the heart to tell me that we still have blessed lives.. better off than others
I know it's true. Just right now, it's too hard to swallow.
She is the most beautiful of them all.. so strong and she doesn't even know it.
The biggest heart of anyone out there.. and yet it is her heart that is her weakness.
Please pray for us, for in these upcoming days.. our lives with starkly change.
>>::_MT_::<<
|
| |
| I don't want to lead you astray..
And yet another part of me wants to push you in that direction..
I'm not sure what to do.. how to put it to you
Truth comes out in funny ways.
I love you dearly.. always will.. always there to encourage you-- to push you forward
But even now I don't know how to guide you.
Maybe I'm not the right one.. but you tell me I am
So I must play my part.
I just want you to Understand!
It's that I don't want you to feel you're always second best.. that you're gettin the hand-me-downs.
If it were up to me this would never be the case.
I just want to hold you.. to tell you things will be alright.
Yet I can't and it kills me right now.
It's a choice you need to ultimately make for yourself-- but for some reason you want to use my voice.
Part of me wants to fight this war for you.. and the other part just wants to let it go.
Just know.. The situation isn't fair.. but I will always stand behind you.. ready to catch you if you fall.
I'd do anything to make you feel better right now.
>>::_MT_::<<
|
| |
