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Original: 4/9/2003 10:24 PM
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Wednesday, April 09, 2003

 
Ever spoken and wished that you could take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?
 

Here are a few people who do....
 

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX
 

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls." Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI
 

Nuts about You. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD
 

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now "she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. Amy Richardson,Stafford, Virginia

A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?" Diane E. Amov
 Posted 4/9/2003 10:24 PM - 1 view - 26 comments

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Visit Aegis's Xanga Site!
This was the funniest thing I've read in a very, very long time.  Thanks!! 
Posted 4/9/2003 11:00 PM by Aegis - reply

Visit rendezvousgirl's Xanga Site!
I'd read those somewhere, a long time ago...I laughed then and I laughed now. There's nothing like looking at a guy's nuts, is there? lol. -Kate
Posted 4/9/2003 11:30 PM by rendezvousgirl - reply

Visit DaP's Xanga Site!
LMAO!!  too funny!
Posted 4/9/2003 11:58 PM by DaP - reply

Visit Whateva's Xanga Site!
ROFL!! CUTE!
Posted 4/10/2003 1:21 AM by Whateva - reply

Visit Fuego_de_Noche's Xanga Site!
LMAO!! Thanks, I needed that.
Posted 4/10/2003 8:28 AM by Fuego_de_Noche Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - reply

Visit MuertaVida's Xanga Site!

lmaoo!! wow that makes anything I've said that was embarassing NOTHING compared lol

thanks :)

Posted 4/10/2003 12:04 PM by MuertaVida Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - reply

Thumbtacks.... *giggles*
Posted 4/10/2003 2:59 PM by anonymous - reply

Visit streakshooter's Xanga Site!
okay, all that was freakin' hilarious :)
Posted 4/10/2003 6:04 PM by streakshooter - reply

Visit Cybernene's Xanga Site!
Great stuff! Thanks for the laugh
Posted 4/11/2003 9:41 AM by Cybernene Xanga Lifetime Member - reply

Visit Bolowolf's Xanga Site!
Alright, those *were* pretty good!
Posted 4/11/2003 9:57 AM by Bolowolf - reply

Visit VelvetGlove's Xanga Site!

*groan*

I've caught myself saying some pretty bad things my own self lately!

Posted 4/11/2003 4:25 PM by VelvetGlove - reply

Visit dragontales's Xanga Site!
Those were great
Posted 4/12/2003 11:03 PM by dragontales - reply

Visit faithless's Xanga Site!
*lol*
Posted 4/14/2003 5:55 PM by faithless - reply

Visit OpenSaysMe's Xanga Site!
hehehehe...gotta love those!
Posted 4/14/2003 9:44 PM by OpenSaysMe - reply

Visit TheHorseYouRode's Xanga Site!
I accidentally said "cork-like nipples" instead of Apple Jacks once.....
Posted 4/15/2003 2:55 PM by TheHorseYouRode - reply

Visit sean808080's Xanga Site!

o too have a gift for putting my foot in my mouth...lucky me!

Posted 4/16/2003 6:40 AM by sean808080 Xanga Lifetime Member - reply

Visit smartass_83's Xanga Site!
Hey u...u don't love me no mores...ya don't come to my site no mores....
Posted 4/16/2003 12:25 PM by smartass_83 - reply

Visit SavonDuJour's Xanga Site!
Been there many times....
Posted 4/16/2003 2:38 PM by SavonDuJour Xanga True Member - reply

Visit dgleadbetter's Xanga Site!

Those are awesome! my god, I was laughing out loud!

DG

Posted 4/18/2003 1:14 PM by dgleadbetter Xanga Premium Member - reply

Visit oOMisfitOo's Xanga Site!

We were at a wedding once, and my daughter announced loudly:  "Look mother!  It's another happy ending!"

The crowd couldn't stop giggling as the bride walked down the aisle.  It was indeed another happy ending.

Posted 4/20/2003 4:24 PM by oOMisfitOo - reply

Visit painted_violet's Xanga Site!
Hi...just catching up with peeps....long post, I will be back to read it though!:) Happy Late Easter
Posted 4/22/2003 11:14 AM by painted_violet - reply

Visit Dada_Witch's Xanga Site!

I was in a book store talking to a friend, not knowing she had left the aisle when I gave advice on sexual positions to a vacant eyed stranger.

-it was gold.

d.w.

Posted 4/23/2003 5:46 PM by Dada_Witch - reply

The vision of a tampon being pounded in with a hammer made me want to slam my knees together while my eyes rolled up in my head.  But hilarious   I love embarassing stories...as long as they're not about me....
Posted 4/23/2003 9:16 PM by anonymous - reply

Visit faithless's Xanga Site!
Haha...

I've definitely spoken and wished I hadn't.
But nothing THAT funny.
Posted 4/24/2003 8:45 AM by faithless - reply

Visit silknlacy's Xanga Site!
My sister in law once went to get some work done at a auto repair shop. When the guy asked her what he could help her with she said... " I'd like my rear end greased"

He laughed and said SURE
Posted 4/24/2003 7:45 PM by silknlacy - reply

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