Have you heard of the 2-year-itch, 7-year-itch, 12-year-itch,
etc.? What are your views on them? Do you agree/disagree and have you
had any experiences similar to what people may label as the
x-year-itch? If so, how did you resolved it?
If I am correct, it used to be the 7-year-itch that was most common where couples may end up getting bored or they just grow apart for one reason or another. Nowadays, it's supposedly more like the 5-year-itch. I think any year, any time, can be an "itch" if the two of you are not careful and are not always looking out for the other's best interest. I think if either one started looking out for his/her own best interest as oppose to the best interest of both of you (or even just your wife's/husband's), trouble can spur up quite easily. Then again, I'm not even married yet. I don't know how complicated things can get. Maybe there are other insights and reasons that I am not even aware of yet. What do you know? =]
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"Researchers found that the 'honeymoon' period for newlyweds lasts less
than five years and that disillusionment and disaffection often set in
by the end of that period. There is an added incentive to battle
through this period, however. The study showed that those who manage to
make it to ten years are likely to remain married for good."
--
uncle_philip
http://www.xanga.com/uncle_philip/624098853/the-five-year-itch.html?nextdate=last
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Comments (9)
Next week we will be married 6 years. No itch...=) But there is something different, a settled in feeling maybe. Comfortable and maybe a bit more lazy in dealing with the relationship sparks. There are two boys and we both have large families, life is busy!! You need to work more in taking time to be close, talk, and go on dates. My husband has a two year old business and that is where my most difficult part has been. He works sooo many hour, I feel like when he finally returns home theres office work, when we travel or date I carry the whole load, he is rushing about preparing the business for a day or more leave. Many times I felt like saying "it's to much work staying close and feeling great about our relationship". I don't like to be needy but sometimes I almost see myself becoming that because I feel like I get so little and give so much! Not true, but I feel that sometimes and it takes work not to. All your effort is worth it, staying close, feeling needed, dates, and romantic evenings take work........it's all in how willing we are to give it all we've got.
My 28th will be next month. Sure there are ups and downs, none of us are perfect,but I'd still give my life for my wife and she still is the apple of my eye. We both do stupid things to get on each others nerves but then we both do things to make the other one happy. There are struggles that test us and thing is that's when we grow the most. When things are going along great you think you are growing. Ever notice thats when a struggle comes alone. It's usually when we think WE have everything under control. Then the struggle brings us back to reality and we see we haven't grown at all.It's when we see what we have gone thru in a struggle when we can see the growth.Struggles are for our own good.As far as itches go, my wife is the only one I've ever been with so I have nothing to compare her to, so in my eyes she's perfect
and that I think is another good reason to wait til marriage for sex, that and don't watch the make believe acting out of sex on the movie screen! Sex is nice, but sex by itself with no relationship I would think would let you down everytime. God made sex really for two things. One for reproducing and the other for enjoyment inside a marriage relationship. I really just don't have much to say about the itch thing, I'm too busy living my life to glorify God to worry about some fleshly itch. 
Sorry I didn't have more to say about it, but thats about it for me. Take care!
~Grampy~
Great question!
Next week I will be married 18 years and with my wonderful husband for 22...
The itch can sneak up and I do believe it is a real thing. I dont think you can really date it but when it comes; you will know. For me it was a feeling of disgust and lack of appreciation, everything he did was an utter annoyance. I began to focus on what I did not like about him, not what made me fall in love with him and that began a real downward spiral. Now, I never acted on it but I thought about it. It was a more selfish thought, for example; men still find me attractive, I dont deserve being treated like this or I am lonely and you dont even know I exist.
Scientist, have said it is a chemistry thing... I wish I had time to look up the facts but...
There are pheromones that attract certain humans to each other; after awhile when the two scents combine or change they dont have the same effects. Then someone encounters your life that has a chemical that wakes up t hose senses again... It used to be every seven years the body goes through a chemical change, that is where the 7 year itch comes from. Who knows, maybe all the chemicals we have pumped into our bodies have made these changes more rapid...
Anyway, sorry so long...
I think the itch comes whenever you get hit with the "Is this all there is?" feeling. We are almost at 10 years married, and I know I've had those moments. Not that I would ever act on them or think about leaving my husband. But sometimes I just think "Whoa. So this is what life will be like for the rest of my life?" I agree with Rosie too - if you start focusing on the things that annoy you, it is easy for that to spiral into discontentment. I try to daily tell my husband thank you - for little things like taking the trash out, squishing a bug, bringing in the mail. Sure, they are little tasks, but I AM thankful for him doing them and that he is still considerate towards me. When you start to take each other for granted, you can get pretty itchy!
Great responses so far. I have an exhusband that had the itch so badly he found someone else to scratch it for him. I have remarried and every once in a while I will start to feel anxious about him getting that itch. It's been 10 years and so far so good! LOL! I agree with the comments about the annoyances though. But sometimes it is from stress and being overtired, not because of feeling restless in the relationship.
Wow. great answers. and informative too. We'll be married 5 years in 5 days. And I find myself ... wondering if this is all there is. I love him to pieces but man, lately he's been driving me up the wall. I'm hoping it's stress related ( we just bought a condo and will be moving in at the end of this month and things @ work are less then peachy) ..but I'm scared. I think I'll try some of the suggestions listed here. :)
These are great responses! I can't really add much more!
I'm not married, but I believe there is a thing called an "itch." I think that the actual time of its arrival depends on the couple and their situation-for some, it may be ten years, for others, it may be 2 1/2.
I think the best way to explain kind of overlaps with things I've said on previous issues and what other commenters are saying here: Humans have a natural tendency to be selfish. I mean, we get bogged down with things in our lives-work, kids, whatever, and sometimes it gets really difficult to realize that you're not necessarily ignoring, but rather tuning out, that person you happen to be sharing your life with. This is probably especially true when you've been with that person a while.
And then there's times when life is just throwing you curveballs, and the only thing you and your spouse can do is just take time off of each other, and just hope that the relationship will keep you together. I noticed several commenters above said something on the lines of, "I never acted, but I thought about" a certain lack of satisfaction with their partner. I think that it's natural to feel that way sometimes-there are things that have to be taken care of: It can't be romance all of the time. And, hopefully, with previous building on the relationship, people can pull through tough stuff knowing that even though it doesn't quite seem like it at the moment, the relationship is really worth it.
There was a study done on committment - not just marriage but conversion to a religion, purchase of homes and cars, jobs, etc. The study indicated that after 5 to 7 years the excitement phase is gone and people start to question whether it is time to find something new - a new house, new job, new spouse... The study of new converts (without regard to religion) showed that if they were still involved in faith activities after 7 years, they were likely to remain in that faith. Same was true of marriages and jobs. The younger you are (as in GenX vs. Boomer) the more likely you are to jump from committment to committment. The younger generations will work on average 3 years at any one job. They will change companies unless the company promotes them to a different job, retrains them for additional duties, or transfers them to new locations. The Baby Boomers tend to plant themselves and stay until death does them part (either the person or the company
. The same is true of marriages - except the younger generations are not marrying, they just live together so that the break up is cheaper and quicker..
simple i met my wife when i was 17 and she was 15 and we have been together ever since (44 years ago) 4 children,5 grand and 3 great grands. CHRIST is the only answer she was saved and brought me to the LORD at 19. we are best of friends AND LET ME STRESS NO OTHER WAY NONE WHATSO EVER BUT JESUS CHRIST. read all the books you want, get all the education you want, listen to every body in the world and it still comes back to CHRIST
JOHNNY