I've been thinking about writing on this topic for a while. Might as well do it now.
I always find myself looking at other people, and wondering what their 'pet dislikes' are about themselves. Do you know what I mean? When I see someone with really bad teeth, I wonder if they really hate their own teeth... do they notice it the same way that I do? Do they absolutely hate their teeth, accept them as fine, or do they have something else totally unrelated that they dislike about themselves?
There are little things about myself that I look at, and they bug me. I hate that my nose is bigger than Brocks. When I was in 4th grade, for picture day, one of the helpers told me my ears stuck out too far, so I always notice that. Are those the things that other people notice first about me, or are they just the things that I worry about? If that isn't what other people notice, what instead do they notice first?
I think we get too focused in on the things we dislike about ourselves, only to magnify them and blow them out of proportion. I read a study that said most people find themselves 20% less attractive than others find them. I think that's pretty interesting.
And when all is said and done, shouldn't I be able to get over my big nose (that I got from dad), and love my ears the way they are... just because everyone else thinks they look great? Maybe I need to find that from within instead, because love and acceptance of self should be something I have... not something that is given to me.
How we view ourselves... it's a tricky subject. My self-esteem is like a barometer, up on Monday, down on Tuesday, right around the middle Wednesday and so on. I don't think I'm the only one.
Comments (11)
No, you're not alone. I have the same issues with my legs...some days I like them, some days I hate them. Some days I think they look great, others I think they look fat. Now, how can the same pair of legs have such different personalities. They can't. The problem is definitely in the eye of the beholder.
When I first got contacts, I used to think that I looked strange. Kind of like my eyes were too close together. I look back at the first school pictures of me with contacts and still think the same thing. Yet now, 14 years later, it seems only natural for me not to wear glasses every day. I always wondered if people who didn't know me thought I looked drastically different without the glasses at first.
We are our own worst critic...definitely.
LOL, i totally scrolled back up to look at your picture and check out your ears! Can't see them in the photo! I am without a doubt really really hard on myself. I see issues EVERYWHERE. My biggest issue is my middle. The "spare tire" area. Surprisingly, I really like my face most of the time.
good topic for 'discussion'.
hmmm, i wonder to myself, what do i 'think about myself'. well, when i look in the mirror in the morning...i am happy with what i see. i've always been taller than everyone, so the focus was on my height...and of course, the crazy hair, can't see my ears, but they are 'normal' i think. i can't remember ever having a comment made about how i 'looked'...ears, nose, whatever. it was mostly 'wow, she's tall'. and i loved that, tall is GOOD! i did get razzed about my feet, size 12, but my parent's always told me that i had good 'understanding' because of them (not realizing the 'joke' until years later) so, ya, it worked for me.
now, at 42, i don't spend a lot of time, if any, being 'not happy' with how i look. i am so deeply grateful for my health and all of the 'good' things about myself .... that thinking about the 'not so good's' is just, well, a waste of time, really. i do wear sunscreen and a hat (mostly) to avoid more wrinkles, or the line-up at the melanoma clinic, but other than that, i never wear make up or spend more than 2 seconds 'fussing'....a little moisturizer with sunscreen, and i'm good to go.
i think when you are 'older' your focus changes to things like: kids, convenience, and who you really are, and what your 'purpose' is on this planet.
it's all about 'relationships', and all that other crapola, is just that, crapola.
just my 2 cents.
oh ya, something i was gonna say...have you ever noticed how beautiful your eyes are? so dark, big and strong, like you 'see' where you wanna be, and they hold all that knowledge n stuff.
my scally has those big dark eyes too, not the same, but ones that you get lost in.
I guess I do that sometimes, too. I always assume that the person does know & notice it the same way I do. I try not to dwell on everything I don't like about my appearance, because I would get way too depressed! Some of it I can change, but other stuff I'm stuck with, so there's no point in dwelling on it. I just hope that someday I can find a man who will love me for me.
I hate that my torso is really short and I really hate my breasts. But most of the things I hate about myself I can change. I hate my eyebrows, but I can pluck them. I hate my thighs, but I can work out more. I hate my laziness more than anything :)
haha I was actually just thinking this! I have big ears also, and I really don't care-they're just ears. I can cover them with hair, but I mostly just wear my hair up. If someone does mention, or just stare at my ears all the time, what can I do? But, I do know what you mean. When I first saw your picture I just thought, "Wow, she's really pretty." I don't think you have a big nose at all! =) Anyways, I think everyone has something that they're self conscious about. I was just reading a magazine, and they asked a supermodel what she is self conscious about, and she said her feet. Wow, I wish I was only self conscious about my dang feet! lol
Oh, and I think people with bad teeth are most likely very insecure about it. I know this woman who is absolutely stunning, except for her teeth. When she smiles she doesn't show any teeth at all. I think if I had bath teeth I think I would just smile normally-showing all my teeth. It's more noticable trying to cover up your flaw! =)
Sometimes I imagine conversations with individuals and their cognitive responses. Pet peeves. I don't tend to think about it because there's not much that I like about myself.
@Mirandasuzanne - Not surprising, crazy! Your face is beautiful :D
@Curlyquilter - I hadn't really paid attention, isn't that sad? But thank you. :) They are just like my momma's... I hope they're full of love and compassion like hers are.