Food, Glorious Food

I went to the grocery store today and I got an entire cart of groceries for less than $60. I don't know how that happened. Usually, I take a hand basket and grab a few things and I'm always spending like $25 or $30 dollars for one or two bags of crap that DearBoy wants.

He's a fancy food eater. He likes fresh vegetables and fresh breads and things with a plethora of ingredients. He goes to the meat counter and has the butcher slice the meats and cut the meats. He actually buys "cold cuts" from the butcher. He squeezes produce and smells things and tries to make sure everything is as fresh and wonderful as he thinks it should be. He'll get all this expensive stuff and whip up some meal, but it tastes the same to me. I really can't tell the difference between his expensive stuff and the crap that I'll buy.

Give me some Little Debby snack cakes or some chips or some Ritz Crackers and a can of Eazy Cheeze and I'm a happy camper. Y'all know that macaroni and cheese is one of my favorite "meals" to make. It is quite a great bargain, and it fills ya up. Not bad for 50 cents and some butter. I've made "dinner" by pulling all of the mostly-eaten bags of food-stuffs in the cupboard and eating

I do enjoy a nice bowl of cereal....provided it is sugary and multi-colored. No "high fiber" or "100% bran" crap here. The "two scoops of raisins" will stay firmly in the store. If the cereal looks healthy or promises to get someone into their bikini by eating it, I'll pass it right up. Promise a toy inside, and I'll buy a box or two just to get some piece of plastic junk to play with for thiry seconds. I will admit that I'm very partial to Fruity Pebbles. Those suckers get me every time.

Now, I do eat some healthy things. Don't get me wrong. I know I eat a lot of crap, but I do have a figure to maintain. I eat salad all the time. Love me a good salad with some ranch dressing and pepperoni and cheese and baco bits. Mmmm. Good eatings.  I also munch on carrot sticks all the time. I buy them peeled and cut and ready to go. All I have to do is wash them off and I can start eating.

This is so random, but I also like to eat raw potatoes. Random as fuck, right? Yeah, I know. We got raw potatoes as treats when we were kids. We'd peel them and wash them and eat them raw...kind of like a peeled apple, without a core. They are quite tasty, but it freaks DearBoy out to see me eating what he calls my "white trash dessert" so I don't eat them when he's around.

I'm not one for cooking. I think more than one pan is too much of a committment for dinner. It is rare to find me in the kitchen for longer than the 30 seconds it takes me to open a bag of chips or find the Chicken In A Biscuit crakers. Now, I do make the aforementioned macaroni and cheese and I make a mean frozen pizza (I add oregano and garlic powder to the top of the pizza before baking). I'll also heat up some chicken mcnuggets and french fries...on the same baking sheet. Dip both of them in some ranch dressing and it's a meal, baby.

I'm sure you're thinking "well, he must love micowave foodstuffs." The answer is no. We didn't have a microwave when we were growing up and I never got into the fad of eating frozen salisbury steak. Frankly, the pictures of the food on the boxes never matches the food that is inside of the box...and I want it to look like the picture so I skip over that entire aisle in the store. I only really own a microwave so I can heat up my coffee when it cools off in the morning.

But I digress. The reason that I got all of this food for so cheap was because I didn't have to purchase a bunch of random stuff off of the shopping list. DearBoy will fill the list with random ingredients for some random recipe for some random dinner that costs us more to make than it would if we just went out to the restaurant and ate. But he has control over the foods, and that makes him happy.  It doesn't make my wallet happy, but he's happy, and that is the most important thing.