Back in November, I was away for CERF training. We were wearing our protective suits and extracting children from buildings which had been contaminated with nerve and blistering agents. This was just a scenario. The children we were extracting were freshmen in high school (around the age of 14/15) who were members of the ROTC program. We would just find a kid, ask them what was wrong with them, and extract them according to their symptoms. If they could walk we would lead them out. If they could limp we would help them walk out. If they couldn't walk or limp we would strap them into a sked and drag them out.
   I came upon a young boy who was unable to walk. I started strapping him into a sked, when someone noticed that he had a black eye.
   "Which one of these guys gave you that shiner?" asked a fellow soldier.
   The boy replied, "Ummm... It was a girl."
   I jokingly asked him, "Did you hit the bitch back?"
   I began pulling him through the building, down some stairs, and to the exit. Along the way, several people stopped and asked about the black eye.
   "What happened to your eye?"
   "Some chick kicked his ass!" I would answer for him.
   "Wow, how does the other guy look?"
   Answering for him once again, "Ahhh. About 5'6", blonde hair, nice set o' boobs."
   This conversation took several forms with several different people. The final being with an outsider who helped me strap the boy into a gurney.
   As I returned to the building to find another casualty, my partner, who was female, informed me that the little boy we had extracted was actually a little girl.

What did I learn from this?..
Never judge a book by it's cover...

Well, I guess I've had illegal cable for about 8 fucking months now. When I first moved in, I thought that it was just included in the rent. It turns out it is not included. Some fucking old ass cable guy randomly stopped by and asked me if I had cable. I told him that I did, but I had never signed up for it. It was on when I moved in. He asked me if I would like to sign up for a plan. I told him that I wasn't interested (actually, I'm just too fucking poor), and asked that he send someone out to disconnect it. He told me that someone should stop by in about two days. Fucking lying son of a bitch! About a month or so later, another cable guy stopped by. This one didn't seem like such a douche. We had the same conversation. This time, I decided to just sign up for it. This was on a Tuesday, and he told me that someone should be over to set it up on Friday. Once again... Fucking lying son of a bitch! No one showed up. Eventually, I just called the cable company. I told them that my illegal cable was fuzzy, and requested that someone come out and fix it. It was an awkward conversation, but I eventually told them that I was joking. I gave them the full story, and requested that they send someone to shut it off. They said that someone should be out to disconnect it soon. This time they were telling the truth. Actually, they weren't... Fucking lying son of a bitch. It's been about two months or so since I spoke with them, and no one has been here yet. I have illegal cable, and the cable company seems to be taking their slow ass time to shut it off. Well, I guess it isn't really illegal if I've done everything in my power to tell them about it. Fuck them!

If they're this fucking slow when it comes to disconnecting illegal cable, I wonder if they're any faster when it comes to taking care of their legit customers... Fucking Sudden Link. Their commercials suck and so do they.