Tuesday, February 08, 2005
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guest check #369519
envious foliage.
belly brushes by before
breasts.
embryonic congratulations false
only serves to amplify
the emptiness, accentuate
the hollow. compliments,
compassion becomes akward
lookaway
between aisles of Gerber
multitudes
and coupon dispensers.
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Comments (2)
lines 4 and 5 could be worded a little differently in my opinion, but that's just how i write.
i'd say....
"embryonic false congratulations
serves to amplify only
the emptiness, eccenuate
.... etc. etc. etc."
good work though. keep on writing.
too wordy.
good as usual though.