i'm getting married. may 30th, 2009.
neither one of are very religious, so we're getting married at an episcopalian church where i have spent a lot of time in other capacities: i took karate lessons there when i was a kid. i went to AA meetings there for the first year or so after i got out of rehab. it used to be my precinct's voting place. also, my parents go to church there, and i have been on a number of occasions as well.
the reverend is a very nice lady who officiated my grandfather's funeral.
we have to attend a handful of pre-marriage counseling sessions. they're fairly informal and not at all dogmatic, but rather practical and pretty beneficial, actually. in the first meeting, we had to fill out a long compatibility questionnaire. this weekend, we had a meeting and got our results back, which of course were great, because, duh, i wouldn't marry someone i didn't mesh well with. i'm not the sort to delude myself (at least, not while sober) and so knew we were pretty much on the same page.
but! and here's the reason for this entry:
we scored highest on the sexual relationship category.
i told the reverend i wanted a plaque to put on the front door.
we talked about marisa tomei's tits while we drove home.
in case you were wondering, i think we scored lowest on spiritual relationship (with god, not each other).
Comments (20)
Awesome, plaque indeed!
'i'm back for more more more! '
Hip hip hurrah!
'in my readings of your poetry, i would put sound ahead of semantics, but that's not to say that semantics are an afterthought or somehow absent from your poetry'
I wouldn't put 'sound' or 'semantics' on top (although both are certainly important to me--and also I suppose it depends upon just what one means by 'sound' or 'semantics').
To me, sound implies something about the musicality and rhythm and flow of a piece and if sound was of the UTMOST importance to me, then I suppose I could just present strings of interestingly assonant words and call it done. But it's not just about the way the words sound; it's even moreso about what those words evoke, in terms of their connotations, associations, and tone.
Of course, the interpretation of associations and tone is bound to be pretty subjective--which might certainly play a large role as to why some readers seem to interpret my poetry so differently that how I might have intended.
BUT, even though there is so much space for different interpretations when it comes to associations and tone, I do think that the CONNOTATIONS of words is a more concrete realm--and furthermore, the connotations of words when contextualized in certain ways also makes intended meaning more concrete (although not definitive).
When it comes to 'semantics', I tend to think more in terms of themes rather than concrete, linear narratives.
But then you know how there's a tendency to categorize a lot of poetry as being either more narrative or more lyrical? Well, I don't care for either categorization for most of my poetry (do you, for yours?).
I dislike the word lyrical, much as I dislike the word verse.
And although I don't perceive each poem as a concrete narrative in & of itself, I do kind of think of them as being part of a larger personal narrative of sorts--or more specifically, part of a larger exploration of several interconnected themes.
More in a moment. I hope this is making sense so far, because I could go on in such veins for hours.
One (of many) reasons that I like talking about my poetry is because my poetry is usually a certain kind of dialogue with myself anyway. Talking about it is akin to some kind of self-psychoanalysis. Why pay some expert to psychoanalyze me, when I can get much closer to and more precise about the nuances of my psyche than they can.
Which is not suggest that I'm writing poetry as therapy. Hopefully, it's much more artful than that. I like to put my psyche through various filters, permutations, and minsitrations. Like I said in my initial entry, I like to present some twisted hybrid of the surface level artifice with the inner grotesquerie. And I don't think it's a random hybrid.
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I think it's amusing and strangley charming that you're getting married where you took karate lessons.
What did the reverend say when you told him that?
My wife and I didn't take any such test, and I'm interested to know how we would have scored. In some ways we have the same values but in so many ways our interests and philosophies are so different. On spirituality, she was raised southern baptist and I basically atheist/agnostic (didn't go to church at all). When we first met, it upset her that I didn't believe - she thought I would go to hell, which she went to heaven. Over time, she moved towards me in my less organized beliefs, and I moved towards her as well, in that I know consider myself much more spiritual than almost all the Christian's I know. I guess that's the advantage of being different. What I am most thankful for is that she didn't remain a republican. We would not have survived this last Bush vs. Kerry contest. There are some things I think a couple has to agree on.
Incidentaly we were married by a non-denominational minister for hire with whom I negotiated out all wordings that I felt referenced specific beliefs, such as "Jesus." I remember at some point wanting to change the word "faith" as in, "faith will see us through hard times" or something to "love". He pointed out to me that God is love, and that my change made the phrase even more religious, but I had no problem with defining God as Love.
But I digress. Congrats and may you have many little ninjas, if you want them.
'although i think primarily your poems are strongest in tone and imagery. as good poems should be. '
I'm happy you think that. Because me too.
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I think it can be fun and rewarding to conduct 'poetry research' both while writing AND reading poems. You mentioned Google Search--and yeah, I have no problem using Google or Wikipedia or a dictionary while reading a poem that seems interesting enough to warrant it--and sometimes, that kind of accompaniment even seems to lend another layer and makes the whole experience more complex and exciting.
Mind you, I can understand that not every reader is going to feel inclined to refer to a dictionary or whatever while they're reading--and certainly there are times when I myself might be settled in comfortbaly with a book and don't feel like referring to any supporting documents--but the idea of conducting a bit of research while in the midst of reading a poem most certainly is not unfathomable or autumatically unappealing to me.
Oftentimes, I jot down notes while I'm reading. Sometimes I write while I'm reading. Sometimes I think of reading as a process much like I think of writing as a process.
On a semi-related note, I was kind of befuddled by that fellow's comments about certain repetitions and punctuations being a relief on his processing and allowing him time to figure out what's happening and such, because can't he read the poem however he wants? Can't he read it as fast or as slow as he wants--and go back and read certain lines again--and revisit certain bits at the top after he gets down to the bottom? He makes it sound like he has to read it one time only, top to botton, at a certain pre-conceived pace, and then be done.
That's certainly not how I read poems. If I'm taken with a few lines and they seem to be having some kind of impact upon my brain or consciousness, then I might read those few lines numerous times before I proceed. For example.
'i thought "Victrola" was her name. the singer, i mean. i pictured her exuding strands of cloth from some sort of disfigured orifice, and thought she may herself be some sort of mutant bird.'
Sweet!
'writhing is as often in ecstasy for me as it is in pain. '
Yes--and even 'ecstasy' is far from a cut & dry kind of concept.
Kind of like how captive and captivated can be so different OR so inextricably linked.
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Anyway, I could go on forever, too, but I should probably move on for the moment.
I really appreciate (and ENJOYED) your comments--and am pretty much always open to this kind of poetry dialogue.
As long as you scored high on sexual relationship, you will be great. I mean, the spiritual thing will matter eventually but you will have to work on that anyway and plan for it.
goodluck! happy life to both of you!!!
Hmmm.. I wonder how many couples would actually have their spiritual relationship placed higher than sexual one? Anyways congrats on getting married!
Thanks for visiting my blog by the way, i'll probably start posting more once i get my final exams out of the way!
lol... a plaque would be cool!
ryc: Yeah, Shortbus fuckin' sucked anyway. It was basically porn trying to be comedy, and then passing itself off as highly intelligent sexual satire. Kind of like what would happen if Joe Orten was an even bigger shithead.
Well. I don't really hate Joe Orten.
That's definitely something you should get plaque for.
There was actually only a few brief hours of violence. Most of my time was spent naked with Nina from Starbucks on the beach.
I like to think that the two of those work out equally as far as quality. X)
It's great to read that you're doing so fabulously.
i most certainly would have wanted a plaque, as well.
something to tell the grandkids!
ryc: thank you. :)
We didn't do any marriage counseling. I think my Pastor is afraid of me. I think it's great you guys are going tho. I definately think it's must for most people. And I'm kind of sad tat we didn't do it, oh well.
Glad you're nice and sexually compatable.
I haven't seen Marissa Tomei's tits in awhile . . .
'and i don't think this poem is really trying to say much of anything at all. '
This poem and the entire collection (which I'm still in the process of reading, because I am savoring it--and I might even find it too intense all in one sitting) is saying something to me about body occupation, body cultivation, being trapped within one's body, and trying to escape, but not without some serious damage and weird carnage galore!
I find the collection to be almost brutally visceral in a way that carries queasy implications about the various snares of contemporary womanhood (admittedly, I read a lot of things as relating to contemporary womanhood).
Other poems in the collection are oozing with mannequin legs that move unusually, thoraxes, spider parts, 'the mother-body' (who kind of seems like some grotesque malignant alien like creature) egg-sacs, and all kinds of damaged body parts. Lots of violent, bloody breaking in and breaking out of bodies. Gory birthings of sorts.
Body parts that don't move like they're supposed to, mouths that don't speak like they're supposed to, bodies that refuse to be controlled or contained, but often destroy themselves trying to hack a way out.
I think it's about breaking free of certain kinds of colonization and exploitation of the body. Re-appropriation. Making the body fictive in a different way. Making the body fantasy in a different way. Or dare I say a new and harder to swallow style of pornography. Slurp.
You should get the book.
I'm off to eat a piece of supreme pizza (at first I accidentally typed that I was off to write a piece of supreme pizza), but I might say more later. Perhaps I should post more excerpts from the book.
Congrats. I have been married twice. I was with my first husband for seven years. Then I got addictec, while addicted I married the second one. We only lasted two months. Sobritiey from my krptonite has made the hugest difference for me...lol.
CONGRATULATIONS! That's awesome. You ought to get a plaque. :) I think more people should do a marriage counseling type things before getting married so they get to know each other better. I see too many of my brides come back for marriage #2 or #3. Maybe it's just Florida...
congrats! we're getting to that age now right. no longer in HS algebra - passing notes around about how our math teacher had crunchy sounding pants. not pissing off wallin anymore in debate. haha. that's really great - hope to meet her sometime. even though i live in DC now. you are both welcome to crash here anytime (roommate be damned!)
Enjoyed your post. Starting marriage counselling in a months time. They did not mention the test.