Weblog » Archives » September 2002

  • When Shit Goes Wrong! (Issue 2) Little Suzy was skipping rope and playing hopscotch in her driveway. And yes, she could do both at once, because she was a multitasker. Little Timmy came up to her and said "Hey, bitch, wa…

  • dream not my love of silver and gold for compared to our lusts, your flesh is not old opium fields and flagrant foul skies a pirates treasure of low lows and high highs a decade of injury battered and bruised the horizon…

  • I think I am starting to choke on the "buy-me" of it all.

  • 50-Hour workweek poetry. Brrp-fpzzzzzt-Eeep. Brrp-fizzzzzzztitt-Eep-Zmmmnh Copy, copy, copy Call, call, call Monotone drone I'd say my life was dripping away Except nothing here can drip A drip means water, and water m…

  • SHOT TO SHIT So there was a bank robbery in town today. In my tinylittle fucking shithole of a town, population less than 25,000 there was a 5-counts-of-homicide botched grab-and-go at the US Bank down on Pasewalk. Righ…

  • WHEN SHIT GOES WRONG (Issue 1) Lorenzo was a content little penguin. His eggs, which would soon be his fuzzy little children, were nestled down on his feet and his wife was no longer sleeping with seals. No eskimos were …

  • McFiction It wasn't anger or degradation that made him do it, it was boredom. Sheer monotony. That slump-shouldered foot-dragging crawl of life simply got Jerry down and he couldn't take anymore. So here he stood in the …

  • I'm a liar. too tired to write. Ten hour days all week. Bah. So, what else can I give you? Flying was great. I love being on a plane, especially a small, turbulent one. And my only other passenger was a sorority chick …

  • Well, the Beard Vote stands at 19-11-3, with the last column being undecided. Wow. I guess I have been urged to keep the beard by just under two-thirds of the loyal readership. Too bad it was just for the sake of curio…

  • A brutal weekend out in Colorado. Caught the show, Sentenced, Dark Tranquillity, Killswitch Engage and In Flames. DT impressed me the most, both by the way they overcame the technical difficulties and how into the show t…

  • I know I've got a beard in the pic at right, but it tragically perished the other night. Funny how everyone else hates it but me. And the pseudo-GF. But I think she only dug it because I dug it. She prefers the sandpaper…

  • Death to agism.

  • Smoke more alkaline.

  • My smoke detector is chirping. Probably means the battery is bad. But I'm too lazy to change it, or even inform someone else it needs changed. This is the apathy my life has become. Or maybe always been.

  • DARE TO BE IGNORANT! So I'm always hearing all these people talking about how if they could only get that raise, if they could only reach inner peace, if they could only meet their one true love, if only.... Well, none…

  • So, I was on TV yesterday. Part of this little promo thing for the Husker game against Penn St. Not really a big deal (as evidenced by the fact I completely forgot to bother writing about it last night) but cool nonethel…

  • My little cousin read to me today. Very cool. And then he proceded to attack me viciously and without remorse. Reminds me that, although I like kids, I also like the fact that they leave at the end of the day. The game …

  • Up in time to milk the goats? So sez whorchelle. I know I have a point, I've just long forgotten what it is. I mean, getting all wrapped up in the minutiae, I forgot why and where it all began. I mean, assuming it did …

  • LiFe aInT n0tHiN' bUt ByTcHeZ N m0nEy, y0.

  • Sick of being shined on, being outshined by my end I rise up out of bed to greet the dawn once again I grab these rays that the early morning sends And my muscles strain, with gritted teeth I start to bend I have always…

  • Rules For Taking Messages When I Call You From Work (Demands of a Debt Collector) 1: I listen to my own voice sixteen hours a day. I am not talking to hear myself speak. If you aren't going to listen to me when I leave …

  • Keep your claws sharp Keep your mind sharper Kill with neurons Slay with synapse Rip apart with medula oblongata Avenge with thought Greive with word Weep with gritted teeth Meditate on the hollow

  • Dehumanization (This is the only thing the Ninja will write about 9/11) There are really only three main sounds that I hear that provide the backdrop for my day. "Eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle", "Bhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrr…

  • Anytime, Neverland, All Grand, Regal And Magnifique Futuristic Underground Calling Kirk (Get Us Off This Crazy Thing!) Hating Overtly, Panting Evenly, Laughing Even Stripped, Searched Rhythm Heating You, Mating Even Ra…

  • On the monochrome highway headed back from the game tonight (which we won, a pitiful 44-13, bah) I was talking with my friend about Nebraska, and we were trying to develop a suitable analogy for it. There was a moment o…

  • Nada for you. Off to the football game, to sacrifice goats to Satan, smoke crack, and murder anything innocent or furry. I mean, to cheer for my team.

  • I don't wanna be a rockstar I just wanna be a junkie who plays guitar I don't necessarily need groupies I just want my mind to be soupy So that when a girl fucks me I'll apreciate it Through a haze so strong I must sedat…

  • Rainwater Romance (Betrayal) Cannot make up my mind If it is smarter to seal and scab Or just ignore the signs Cannot determine if the chains chafe Better to be dead Or better to be safe They sucked up all my sincerity…

  • Funniest_Thing_I've_Ever_Seen Read the customer reviews. What a riot. I knew I would get something worthwhile out of this Harry Potter craze eventually. Many thanks to Zaccan, for posting this first and showing us some…

  • Tell me, why is it that when I try to be an asshole no one takes me seriously, and when I give up, everyone finally thinks I am an asshole? Stupid expectations...

  • Fucked-up. Way fucked-up. Dreamed I was carrying a big club, shaped like a giant cone, and I could make it do all sorts of hi-tech wizardry. Shoot things, sense things, eat things. And I was hired to investigate a murder…

  • Dreams about people being killed and melted down into candles. More on this story at nine.

  • No offense, and I don't expect any of you to change, but damn you MIDI music and little song players piss me off. There I am, just jamming to some Agalloch, and all the sudden there's this little electronic upbeat patter…

  • High tension wires both thick and thin Never let me out, child, never let me in No time anyway Got to maintain Got to pluck them taut chords Gotta play the refrain Got a job to do I need the tools to do it But at some p…

  • Sitting atop one of those fancy slabs of stone and steel they call modern art. In the mall. Yeah. In the mall. So I'm chilling there, feet dangling over the side, chewing on a toothpick because that's the cool thing to d…

  • RESPONSES TO JUNK E-MAIL It's Spamtastic! Dear Friend, I have your Personal Digital Organizer. It's FREE, but I need to know where to send it. Click Here and complete the form. Organize you…