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  • charisma

    listen up gangstahs and honeys with your hair done. time for a little trip in The Crimson Ninja's Wayback Machine all the way back to the spring of two thousand and two, when the world was young and dinosaurs roamed the …

  • Vacation

    i didn't let you know i was taking one, and now i'm back from it. i spent seven days on the beaches of Eagle Lake in northern Minnesota with the girlfriend, her parents, her grandmother, her sister, her brother and his…

  • The Plot Against America

    i finished this book today, and it was pretty fucking good. Roth utilizes some very akward, clumsy syntax sometimes... and to no real effect, either... which makes some passages difficult to get through, but on the whole…

  • Gas Station "Wasn't your mom ever worried?" Can't see a thing. Gotta get new headlights. Halogens, or something. It's like they aren't even on. Or maybe my night vision is just getting worse and worse. Maybe staring …

  • “You are not a hobo!” Hansel screamed. “Hobos move! I’ve seen you at this same street corner every day for as long as I can remember, since I was a kid, always with that sign! Enough! I’m not going to help you! No one is…

  • THE BEST ‘FOR SALE’ AD EVER Robin Hood is why things shouldn’t be left to chance and rational decisions must be made. You’d think that a man who had the dedication and vision to build a time machine would have a cer…

  • It was on a Tuesday night that I met an immortal. He was tactless. Not socially naïve, just intentionally tactless. Strutting about a small apartment, his, wreathed in various statuettes and idols depicting monkeys in va…

  • If he laid there all day, he could probably just keep curled up into a fetal fold between the blankets. But as soon as he tried to stand, which every man eventually must, it became difficult to have her clinging to his…

  • I was just hungry and wanted a snack to tide me over until dinner, so I went out back and shook the plum tree. At first, the fruit clung tenaciously to the branch, but as my shaking became more vigorous in response to th…

  • It’s good for you, sweetie, mommy said. It’ll make your tum-tum all better. I promise, she said. The spoon is too big. It’ll never fit in little Teddy’s cute wittle baby mouth. It’ll choke him. It’ll crawl down his throa…