Saturday, April 12, 2008

• The Latest on My Love Life - Dating a Woman From Syrian Phoenicia

  Currently Reading Word Biblical Commentary Vol. 33b, Matthew 14-28 (hagner), 568pp By Donald A. Hagner see related

  For the last 3 days I’ve been dating a woman from Lebanon. Well, to be exact, she’s from Syrian Phoenicia (I call her SP). For the most part, my wife doesn’t mind. We have a pretty open relationship. The only time it really bothers her is when SP keeps me up all night talking. But she’s just so fascinating that it’s hard for me to tell her goodnight. Besides, she’s a good insomnia partner.

  She makes my heart flutter in that “new love” sort of way.  I know we’re only in our honeymoon stage, but I think this could be the real thing. I’d write her a poem, but unfortunately she can’t read. Don’t get all judgmental about it though. Syrian Phoenicia is an oral culture, so I bet she can best you in a memorization contest…either that or I just like my women ignorant and barefooted – you know how we Kentuckians are!

  I think about her all the time and when I’m away from her I’m always talking about her. I swear my friends are going to get annoyed, but so far they’ve been patient. Eric and Josh pass me notes in class asking if SP and I are going to get married someday. I just blush and fold up the note to put in my “SP loves Thom” scrapbook.

  She’s a bit older than me, which isn’t too much of a problem right now. I like older women. They’re so wise, you know? They’ve been there and done that. She’s not afraid of the stupid boundaries placed on her by society – she’s broken them before, she’ll break them again. It’s kind of liberating to date a woman who shakes her fist in the face of The Man.

  Sometimes her accent is difficult to understand, but she’s got the best sense of humor. Not even God Himself could best her in a duel of wits. She’s got the best “Yo Mamma” jokes around. JR would be proud.

  She does have a daughter, but we’ve not met. I doubt we ever will. Part of the problem is that her daughter is possessed or something. Well, at least that’s what SP tells me. I have no reason not to believe her, but she’s a bit superstitious like that sometimes. Her daughter’s probably just ugly…

  She's totally Liberal, though. She's convincing me that the Canaanite Genocides may not have been God's plan. After all, she wouldn't  be here if the Israelites had succeeded. But, really, since when is it a Liberal idea that the ethics of Jesus challenge and supersedes the ethics of the Torah? If Christ is the apex of human history, she says, and Christ was non-violent, don't you think the godliness of those genocides should be questioned? Anyway, she's got me thinking.
  
  She's a pacifist. I like that.
  
  She knows her Bible pretty well for someone who didn’t grow up in church. She’s got a good sense of mercy and justice, both of which are good. At least I know that if she breaks my heart she’ll do it gently and at the right time – none of this, “It’s not you, it’s me” crap. None of this “God told me to do it” trash.

  Well, anyway, just thought I’d catch you up on what’s going on in my love life….spicy ain’t it?

  • 11:45 PM
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