Harmless Jealousy | TheTheologiansCafe's Xanga Site

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Harmless Jealousy
I was reading an article on yahoo health titled "4 (Harmless) Ways to Make a Man Jealous." It was written by David Zinczenko.
Zinczenko suggested that a woman stay up later than her man. He suggested that a woman spend time online and make the man wonder what she is doing. He thinks this will cause the man to give the woman more attention. Here is the link: Link
Is Jealousy in a relationship always bad?

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No.
- 8/14/2007 1:39 PM
- apennieformythoughts (message)
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uhhh no i don't think it is-but planning it? why make life so contrived?
- 8/14/2007 1:40 PM
- drugs_and_razorblades (message)
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When people are jealous, it doesn't always mean in a negative way. If they allow it to consume them, then it has no place in a secure relationship.
- 8/14/2007 1:40 PM
- apennieformythoughts (message)
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In that situation, yes. That is a stupid way to get attention. If your man gives you more attention just because you stay up late online then he doesn't trust you.
- 8/14/2007 1:42 PM
- distler (message)
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No.
- 8/14/2007 1:43 PM
- xgutterxflowerx (message)
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Sometimes.
- 8/14/2007 1:43 PM
- x__LastingImpression (message)
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It depends on the level though.
- 8/14/2007 1:43 PM
- xgutterxflowerx (message)
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No, as long as it is harmless like what he mentioned. Justified jealousy is a bit deeper.
- 8/14/2007 1:44 PM
- innerblondness (message)
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no
but Ben is the most UNJEALOUS person I know.
it sometimes seems that doesn't care either way, he is so unjealous... weird.

i still love him, though.
- 8/14/2007 1:47 PM
- RaVnR (message)
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that article really offends me. It's encouraging women to be manipulative and rotten.
- 8/14/2007 1:47 PM
- Corwin256 (message)
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My principle is to not date someone unless I can trust them. It's just common sense. Relationships shouldn't be plagued by jealousy drama.
- 8/14/2007 1:47 PM
- heterophobic_female_chauvinist (message)
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I think being jealous is a complete waste of time. If your woman (or man) wants to leave you, there's nothing you can do to change that. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Leave...don't let the door hit you on your way out. Being jealous is for suckers.
- 8/14/2007 1:48 PM
- Xcholo4u (message)
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"In that situation, yes. That is a stupid way to get attention. If your man gives you more attention just because you stay up late online then he doesn't trust you." Agreed.
- 8/14/2007 1:49 PM
- ShortyTheChileHead (message)
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Not always, but I think it's a bit ridiculous that a guy would get jealous because of the four items listen. I know I wouldn't, and I know my fiancee wouldn't, either.
- 8/14/2007 1:50 PM
- SuperEvilPopTart64 (message)
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**listed
- 8/14/2007 1:50 PM
- SuperEvilPopTart64 (message)
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No games.
I hate hearing about this : do this so your man does this, etc.
It's fucking bullshit, if you want a relationship that's all about trickery and games than fucking date David Blaine, I don't think relationship games are funny, I don't think that they are cool. I think they are the stupidest waste of time possible besides posting chain letters as comments on xanga.
- 8/14/2007 1:52 PM
- attercop (message)
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In those examples, jealousy is bad. Love is not jealous or rude.
- 8/14/2007 1:53 PM
- IssyMae (message)
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but to answer your question, Yes, if it's unaddressed it can be bad, it can cause a rift filled with anger and resent. If you're jealous of your partner than you aren't at an equal level with them. I guess it also depends on what you're jealous about too, if it's something stupid like you're jealous that your boyfriend can eat whatever he wants and you can't that's one thing, but if you're jealous that he has more friends than you that's a completely other.
- 8/14/2007 1:54 PM
- attercop (message)
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i think the longer you are in a relationship the more comfortable you are with the other person. and sometimes you can get too comfortable, too lazy to make an effort to please your partner.. to me this article is just trying to address this: to let your man know that he does have outside competition, that he shouldn't take you for granted.
- 8/14/2007 1:56 PM
- eucalyptusXxXanonymous (message)
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I think getting enough sleep- which would help one be a healthier, happier person, would do more to benefit a relationship than manipulatively fostering jealousy in the person you love. I think its cruel to intentionally make someone jealous. If you want more attention (which seems to be the point of the article) why not just ask for more attention? You shouldn't have to trick people into giving you what you need.
- 8/14/2007 1:57 PM
- shellybean99 (message)
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I think a little bit, just means the other person really cares about you, but not when you do it on purpose... that's just horrible.
- 8/14/2007 1:58 PM
- TigerWolfBaby (message)
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Yes, especially when it is premeditated... that's just wrong
- 8/14/2007 1:59 PM
- LogDog2020 (message)
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Yeah... no... yeah... no... Darn it there you go again. ;-b

I never thought my hubby was a jeolous person... Until recently he was a coupl of times and it wasn't a good feeling for either of us...so I'm going to go with NO it isn't good...To either be jeolous or intentionally inspire it.
- 8/14/2007 2:00 PM
- angi1972 (message)
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Agreed with Shellybean...
- 8/14/2007 2:00 PM
- LogDog2020 (message)
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Sometimes jealousy shows that you care. I would worry if my guy let me do whatever I wanted and didn't ask what, where, with whom, etc. I think you need a good balance of trust and jealousy to have a good relationship, and there must be a lot more trust than jealousy.
- 8/14/2007 2:04 PM
- Agent_Summer_Joy (message)
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