ffffalalala

train of thought

I was listening to this song about a guy who is telling his wife that he cheated on her, and his girlfriend is having a baby.  And he says "and she's keepin it."   It was her decision, and she's keeping it. 

The song isn't about this at all, but I was thinking:

Our culture has decided that the baby belongs to the woman.  She decides it's fate.  I never thought about how liberating that is for men.  It means that the baby isn't really theirs.  It's her body, and she's the one who decides whether to take the pill or not, so then it's her fault if she gets pregnant and is a single mom.   

Right now our culture says kind of unofficially that guys should take ownership once the baby is born, but if you think about it that isn't really consistent.  If they're not the owners before, why should they be owners after birth?  They don't have any right to help with a decision about the "woman's body," and I'm sure that fact distances them from the problem and from the child. 

So I think it's great that the media is encouraging women to keep their babies, but it doesn't solve the problem of men being irresponsible.   And all this pro-choice jargon about "it's my body" is actually a encouraging men to feel less responsible when they're sleeping around.

Complimentary "Confessions Ii (with Interlude)" 

 [ringing]
Hello?
Yo I'm in the booth, I'm gonna call you right back..
Na, I just gotta put this one part down I'm gonna call you back..
I'm at the studio man,what…
Man, quit playing with me, man.
No, for real don't play like that…
Are you, are you serious?
How you know?
Put that on everything.
I'ma call you back.
I'ma call you back.

Every time I was in L.A. I was with me ex-girlfriend.
Every time you called I told you “Baby I'm workin”.
Nooo, I was out doing me dirt.
Ohhh, wasn't thinkin' about you getting hurt.
I was hand and hand in the Beverly Center like man, not givin a thought as to who sees me.
Soo gone, soo wrong.
Actin' like I didn't have you sittin' at home.
Thinkin about me,
Being the good girl that you are,
But you probably believe you got a good man.
I man that would never do the things I'ma about to tell you I've done.
Brace yourself, it ain't good.
And it would be the worst if you heard this from somebody else..

I know you hate me.
I know I hurt you.
But there's more.
Listen…

Watch this
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I can say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
Man I'm thrown and I don't know what to do
I guess I gotta give you part 2 of my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
I near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so thrown and I don't know what to do
But to give you part 2 of my confessions

Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do
Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you
'bout that chick on part 1 I told ya'll I was creepin' with, creepin' with
Said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it
The first thing that came to mind was you
Second thing was how do I know if it's mine and is it true
Third thing was me wishin' that I never did what I did
How I ain't ready for no kid and bye bye to our relationship

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I can say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
Man I'm thrown and I dont know what to do
I guess I gotta give you part 2 of my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
I near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so thrown and I don't know what to do
But to give you part 2 of my confessions

Sittin here stuck on stupid, tryna figure out
When, what, and how I'ma let this come out of my mouth
Said it ain't gon' be easy
But I need to stop thinkin', contemplatin'
Be a man and get it over with (over with)
I'm ridin' in my whip
Racin' to her place
Talkin' to myself
Preparin' to tell her to her face
She opened up the door and didn't want to come near me
I said "Why tell me, baby,
Please hear me"

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I can say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
Man I'm thrown and I don't know what to do
I guess I gotta give you part 2 of my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
I near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so thrown and I don't know what to do
But to give you part 2 of my confessions

This by far is the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do
To tell you, the woman I love
That I'm havin' a baby by a woman that I barely even know
I hope you can accept the fact that I'm man enough to tell you this
And hopefully you'll give me another chance
This ain't about my career
This ain't about my life
It's about us
Please

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I can say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
Man I'm throwed and I don't know what to do
I guess I gotta give you part 2 of my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
I near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do
But to give you part 2 of my confessions

PHONES

whoa

Man, I've felt totally out of the loop since the 48 hr film project.  Where have I been??  Why haven't I been at church or hanging out with my church people or blogging?  I think it's just that I've been busy... work has been easy but there's been stuff every weekend it seems.  And then also my house has been funner since school's been out, so I've probably been home more, I dunno.

I can't write about everything, so I'll just list - here are all the things that have impacted my life lately: 
business trip to Albuquerque,
48 hr film project,
teaching piano,
playing softball,
highschool best-friend's wedding,
art projects,
meeting with Mt Zion,
playing in Laura's recital,
meeting with Christen,
going to a new biblestudy, 
family vacation,
4th of July. 

Everything teaches me something new.  It is always kind of subtle, but I notice it after the fact.  God is slooooowly teaching me who He wants me to be, what I'm good at, what I stink at, how to behave.   

I am working 12 hour days so I can get 40 hours in by Wed night.  I don't have time to do anything except eat and sleep and work.  Wow.  There is not time to do things I really REALLY need to do. 

people types

People, especially people who aren't Christian, tell me that they didn't know people like my family existed.  (Sometimes they mean it in different senses, but it's the same idea.)

Have you ever met someone, or a group of people, and thought "wow, I forgot that this type of person actually existed!."  I mostly think this about people who are really passionate about their faith.  Paul Nasekos, Mr Iverson, but sometimes on the other side of the spectrum too, like really trashy people at work

I wonder how many amazing types of people there are out there that I would never guess existed?

It's not exactly related, but I thought of that because I was chatting with the lady behind the counter at a bakery in manassas.  She is probably about 35-40 years old, but she was shy and timid in a cute way, like a little kid.  If you were filming her mannerisms, you would think she was a bad actor because of the shy way she talks.