I have been out of school and living away from all my friends and practically everything familiar for about two months now. Currently, I have one friend my age and she's my sister-in-law. The only other people I hang out with are my parents and a bunch of kids who are all about 5-10 years old. I once again live in a place where I don't really know my way around. It all seems kind of pathetic... at first glance.

I've always grown up hearing, "God has a plan for your life whether you can see it or not." This was one plan I really did not understand. I was happy to be leaving school, but why God was having move away from my friends (for the second time *cough*NewHampshire*cough*) and my church to a place where I knew no one and didn't really care about the church I attended, was beyond me. A lot of stuff just didn't make sense to me. However, God is really cool and some stuff is starting to make sense. He's teaching me lessons that I know I never would have learned if I had stayed in Nashville, and they're big lessons, too. Two, in particular, that I'm really starting to figure out.

The first is about settling. I have lived most of my life settling for what is okay and good instead of great and what I really want. It's really easy for me to skim over negative aspects of things that have good qualities, too, just because it's easier and seemingly more comforting than pushing through and finding what I really want. It's been a hard lesson to learn, trust me, but I'm realizing that settling isn't good enough for me anymore. I want more. Better yet, I deserve more. There have been so many dreams and desires that I've given up on because I was afraid of failing so I just settled on accepting that it probably won't work out so I won't even bother trying. Well, I'm through with that. I already have a list of things that I've always wanted to do, but never did, that I'm going to start pursuing.

It doesn't apply to just activities, though. It applies to what I want to study, where I want to live, where I go to church, and even what I want in friends and what I want in a husband. I'm tired of not doing what I want to because someone thinks it's a bad idea or because I'm afraid of what might happen. I'm tired of having friends who make me feel like I'm less of a person, whether intentional or not. I'm done with it. It's not worth it to me to have relationships with people who make me feel bad about myself. People who do that to other people don't make true friends. And I know that when I'm involved in that kind of friendship I have the tendency to treat that person the same way. It's not healthy for either person and I truly apologize to anyone I've ever made feel like that. It's not right. All it does is bring you down and make you miserable and that is so mentally and emotionally wearing. So like I said, I'm done with it. Partially because I hate the way I feel in those relationships and partially because I don't want to be responsible for bringing someone else down. Everyone deserves to have friends that lift them up, not tear them down, plain and simple. I've also been realizing qualities that are very important to me for my future husband to possess. I'm not about to publish them to the world for various reasons, just know that they're there and they aren't necessarily easy. I am, however, in the next couple of days, planning on posting a list of things I'd like to do in my lifetime. If there's anything on that list that anyone would like to join me in doing, let me know! It would probably make a lot of the stuff more fun to have a friend to do it with!

The other thing that God has really been teaching me lately is about trust. Specifically, trusting Him, because it's something I don't do nearly enough. But, that's a post for another day. For now just know that God is really cool and has really been working in my life and I'm pretty excited about it. He's given me an incredible church here in Georgia that I'm going to with my sister-in-law. The church also has an amazing group on Sunday nights for college-aged people and the people there are truly great and I'm really looking forward to hanging out with them and getting to know them. So while life here may seem pretty pathetic at first glance, it's actually pretty good and I'm liking it a lot.

I have officially lost track of who I've told this information to and who I haven't(especially since people I didn't tell have heard), so the time has come to post it on Xanga.

I will not be returning to Belmont for the spring 2008 semester. I'm finally taking some time off from school. Because I'm not going to be in school and I can't currently afford to stay here in Nashville, I will be moving back to Georgia to live with my parents. My goal is to have enough saved up by the beginning of the summer to move back here. I currently don't plan on returning to school for next fall either, but I've decided that I would like to at least live in Nashville where a lot of my friends are. I'm taking this whole thing semester by semester, so we'll see, maybe I will be back in school by fall, but where I'm at now, I don't plan on it. I do plan on finishing school and getting my degree in Accounting eventually, I'm just not sure when. For now, I'm moving back to Georgia next week and I'll be coming up to Nashville to visit as often as I can, especially once baseball season starts up. :o) And of course, people are more than welcome to come visit me in Georgia!

There's a whole going into this decision. There are a lot of pros as well as a lot of cons, but all in all this break has been a long time coming and it's very very much needed. It'll be good for me, but I'm going to miss everyone here in Nashville so so much. I really wish I could stay here. It's been killing me knowing how much I'm going to miss next semester. Between basketball season, baseball season, some of my friends graduating, and life in general... that a lot to miss, but like I said, I'll be up a lot... hopefully.

In other, happier news. Krista and I are planning on taking a road trip together this coming summer. I'm super excited for it! As of now, we're going all over the place. Here is the most recent list of stops (some have a reason, some are just because we want to):

Nashville, Tennessee -- The starting point
Akron, Ohio -- Eileen said we have to and I know better than to mess with that :o)
Fort Wayne, Indiana -- I have family there that I haven't seen in years
Somewhere in Michigan -- Krista's friend
Minneapolis, Minnesota -- Mall of America... and Minneapolis in general
Denver, Colorado -- Because it's Denver and I've always wanted to go to Colorado
Salt Lake City, Utah -- It's a good stopping point between Denver and the next stop, and hey, why not?
San Francisco, California -- It's San Francisco, I don't think it needs to be explained more
Los Angeles, California -- We'll probably just stop for a day on our way to San Diego, but LA sounds fun
San Diego, California -- This is our main destination. I'm so so freaking excited to get there!!
Las Vegas, Nevada -- Who doesn't want to go to Vegas at least once in their life??
Phoenix, Arizona -- Just because... plus I know people that live there... at least I'm pretty sure they're in Phoenix
Albuquerque, New Mexico -- I have no idea what's in Albuquerque, but it's good enough for my
Dallas, Texas -- Why not?
St. Louis, Missouri -- I hear there's tons of fun stuff to do in St. Louis
Nashville, Tennessee -- And we're back!

Basically, with the exception of flying to Austin, Texas for a couple days for Ryan and Heather's wedding, the farthest west I've been is Memphis. I've always wanted to go to the west coast and I've always wanted to go on a road trip now I have a chance to combine the two dreams. Krista has always wanted to go a road trip to California and she hasn't been many places outside of Tennessee, so we're going on a road trip together and we're going all over the place. It's going to be so fun. Expensive, because of gas, but fun. I'm looking forward to it. In fact, I think I may go do a bit more planning now...


P.S. Once I get a job and get settled next semester, I'm get a puppy! I can't wait!!