I Haven't Been Sleeping, So I Can't Think of a Title For This Post

I've been up since noon yesterday, and find myself utterly unable to sleep. I thought of going to the gym, but I think my body might be too tired to work out. 

Not tired enough, however, to fall asleep.

I just watched a movie that made me cry (further evidence that I should always listen to Stephen).  However, it didn't make me cry until I started typing this post.

I suppose I could try crying myself to sleep.

I really wish my life weren't so fucked up right now.  No money, no job, no guy.  Taken individually, none of those things should matter that much.  I've gone pretty much the whole of my life without a guy who loved me.  There have been times when I've had no money.  There have been a couple very brief stretches where I didn't have a job.  For the first time, though, I not only lack all three of those things, but there's no one to whom I can turn who can spot me on any one of those three until I get my life back under control.

My sister and her husband will be here in a couple days for a visit.  Part of me wonders if I'm supposed to go back with them.  Finish my descent into Hell by returning to the South.  As much as I love being Southern, there's no way I could live in the South right now.  I'm not just saying I really don't want to go back.  I'm saying that I honestly don't believe I'm up to the task of surviving in the Deep South.  Someone mentioned it to me; I said I would entertain it only as a last resort. 

But, given the way I feel about things right now, I think it would be the last straw.  You know - the one that broke the camel's back.

I obviously need sleep - I'm being all melodramatic.  But I've been trying to sleep since about 2 a.m.  I started the movie at 5:30, but with the ulterior motive of forcing myself to sit still long enough to maybe fall asleep.

Instead, I'm wide awake and all weepy.

I'm rambling too.  I'm going to shut up now.