I couldn't help but always think of her as Sampson.
As long as I could remember.
I always wondered if that only left me to be her Delilah.

I turned these thoughts over in my head as I watched her, immersed in my family.
She was quietly loving them and I could see it her in eyes and her quiet ways.
God, I was so thankful she was here.
Tragedy has away of bringing everyone back from the dead, except for the one you lost.
Even she was sad to see my dad go.

But more importantly, she knew she was needed.
She came, without my call.  And I was, overwhelmed.
And her hair was long, God, she never kept it long.
That was because of me.

I noticed when she was gone.
And felt when she sat down next to me, not too close.
But close enough that I was breathing her in.
After moments of her silent comfort,
"Your hair is long," I commented.

I finally turned my face to hers.
She granted me a grim smile, that didn't quite reach her eyes.
I saw her hand move slowly, as she moved to rest it on mine.
There we sat until everyone was gone.
There I sat until she was gone.

My hang felt unusually wrong, now lacking hers.
I never knew how to make her stay.
Was that my betrayal?
I mused.
This made me her Delilah.

And though like Sampson,
The next day her long hair had disappeared.
It rested at her chin and swayed when she moved.
But unlike Sampson,
whenever she did this.

I always felt it made her stronger.

you put me in more boxes than i can count

maybe one day you would let me out.

maybe one day you would actually see me.

 

                                             maybe is too frightening.

                                             one day is too long.

 

 

 

 

it's like this.

your words shower over me, burning, acidic, dissolving my response and leaving me speechless.

you always destroy my words before i can give them to you.

 

 

 

                                                                                                      

 

the world shifted beneath my feet
i wasn't frightened
the pavement cracked
maybe even groaned
but the lights sprayed their
rainbows
into my eyes and
heart
i think
your voice was there
with the green moon and her army
of purple, mutating
clouds
pulsing
journeying back
to the white fence with the
bed of grass and the
smell of the sweetest puppy
and i was insane but
with you
thinking of him in
too many circles
with sleep ever
elusive
and frustrated with the
words that melted
in my mouth
dinner mints
you, the world
never tasted