dark days recently

this is a familiar place, but I'm never sure how I manage to get here, and though I know I've been in brighter places, I'll be damned if I can remember how it is that I can get there.

there are a lot of things that seem to have gotten stuck to me over time, like burrs and thistles, and they're so numerous that they weigh me down.  Chance has it that I'm called on to help someone deal with his/her burrs and thistles too, and it's just too much.  This person isn't capable of hearing about mine, but I must appear to be durable enough to help carry theirs.

I just can't ... and every time this comes up I'm even less able.

so, skydiving without a parachute looks pretty good.

It doesn't really take all that much ... they've got to stand behind what they say, and if time shows that they've been mistaken, they own it, acknowledge it and keep moving without blaming it on anyone else.  They're not "easy" ... not a push-over, and not easily influenced by peers.

Oh yeah ... all of that boils down to "Integrity".  that encompasses a whole lot of stuff.

   

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1974.  Tied to the pier in Mayport, Fla.  I wanted to go on liberty, but my hair was too long, so I couldn't leave the ship until it had been cut to standards.  Ship's barbers were gone (already on liberty, no doubt), and so was almost every one else.  A guy from my division said he'd cut my hair for $5, and I was DESPERATE.  Jacksonville Beach was calling, was were many beers, etc.  I ponied up the green, and he dug a pair of scissors out somewhere, and went to work.  After a few false starts, he exclaimed "Okay!  You're ready!"  Without checking his work, I bolted for the enlisted brow (gangplank, but not exactly), where I was inspected by the Chief of the Watch.  He took a look at me, shook his head and muttered something about "depserate", smirked, and cleared me to depart the ship.

When I got to town, I found my friends and was greeted with ... peals of derisive laughter!  I went to the men's rest room to look at myself, and ... well ...

ever watch the Three Stooges?  Imagine Moe, but without the bangs.  Desperate.  Yeah.

   

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