Tuesday, April 29, 2008
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Dear McDonald's Customers,
I know our relationship hasn't been doing to well lately. It's a vicious cycle of you telling me, "The customer is always right," and I tell you straight, then you scream at me, then I lose all empathy in my body. It has to stop, for me to be able to deal with you for at least another year, I have to set some ground rules. Don't fret, it as much as you, well more with you than me.
1. Don't yell at me.
Though I'm your favorite person and you approach me first, don't assume I'm the person who made the mistake. As you yell at me, "Fix the stupid mistake you did! Now I want done right as you lose your hearing," I lose a part of my soul. We all know I need a soul for the afterlife, I envision, and if I don't have a soul, Hell even won't allow me in. And I keep hearing rave reviews about heaven, and I would like to see that place; and I need a soul, actually a good one; but a soul nevertheless to enter. Plus, it makes me feel like the bad guy when I have to correct you.
2. Don't ask for food you didn't order.
C'mon, we all know you didn't lose the slip as well as 'forgetting' those 4 apple pies. Plus I'm not senile yet, so I'll remember your pitiful face, not asking for the food you now demand. Anyways, I don't want to be the one responsible for you going to prison and losing your figure. Besides, coming through drive thru or not, I don't pay attention to people's orders, unless I'm in drive thru.
3. Pay the damn 22 cents or hold your peace.
When I tell you that you have to pay for the sauce, as you didn't order nuggets or selects, or want extra. Why do you have to tell me that Burger King gives it to you to free! If you want that kind of special treatment, then go back to that slimeball who likes to serve you cold food. Besides, I'm not being paid by the bastards, so talk to my manager, not me. Just also know, ketchup, mustard and mayo are the only ones who are free.
4. Don't lie about money.
Yes, you may be poor, but I'm not making myself poorer to make you richer. I know what you gave me, and I have an eye in the sky to prove me otherwise. Okay, God too; but I was referring to the video camera. Do you think I'm going to give you money after your sob story? If you need money, get a loan from the bank. Have bad credit, then rob a bank. I'm not cutting my paycheck, thank you very much.
5. Don't hold conversations.
Unless I know you, don't try to act like you know me. I prefer to be the polite, silent type. I don't want to hear how your uncle is going through surgery, that your father is the manager, or having kids are horrible; as I'll remain silent and will hire a lawyer or have one appointed to me. I just want to make sure you give the right amount of money, and is given the right amount of food.
6. Don't tell jokes... For the sake of my sanity, no jokes...
"Maybe we should be given free food. [laughter]"
"I want 14 Double Cheeseburgers. Just kidding, I only want 1! [laughter]"
"Ass fucker! [laughter]"Honestly? Are you high or something? How are these funny? Someone please explain, do I not find them funny as I'm a heavy watcher of Comedy Central and my favorite comedians are George Carlin, Lewis Black, Ron White, and Gabriel Inglesia [no clue if I spelled his name right]. See I'm a tough critic, so your jokes may not be happy to everyone.
Please customers, keep those rules in mind; then maybe I would be more happy to see you.
Your McDonald's worker,
Whyerd_Neighme
No X's or O's for you!
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Comments (10)
Sadly, out of all my friends I'm the only one who holds some sort of appreciation for McDonalds food. They all like Taco Bell.
Wow, this brings back a lot of unpleasant memories. Plus, I worked at a fast food place in the mall in a big city. I wanted to tear my fucking hair out.
lol
All very valid reasons why I'll never work in the fast food industry. I wouldn't last a day. And instead of tearing my hair out like ABF, I'd yell back//have no sympathy/empathy//I would be the Fast Food Justice League, but with a Nazi edge--if that makes any sense.
You work at McD's? I've worked jobs like that before...hated it! Good luck with all those awful customers!
i have a simliar list but its for CVS.
high five my underpaid employee brother XD!
j/k :)
@StephanieMarie7891 - Tell them they can stay there.
@Amandasbiggestfan - Though I'm in a small town, I still want to do that...
@Infamous_Dewey - Yes it does make sense. May you be lucky enough not to have it as your only present day job choice
@klarmane - Feeling's mutual
@animaeariesgirl - high five! Is it now sexy time? [I loves bringing up Borat references whenever someone says, "High Five"]
I didn't know you work there. Thanks for that information, I 'm glad I didn't go with my plan of entering that kind of job.
For something really really weird, check out my blog. I'm into something that's very insane. Remember: Mr. Munky's watching you.
@Whyerd_Neighme - Here in our country, many of my friends who have the same job as you have tell me that it's so much of a hassle handling that kind of job. I don't blame them, though; sometimes, if a customer is hungry and they've been in the line for a long time, they can get cranky.
@Whyerd_Neighme -
lmfao. still need to watch that movie XD i heard so many quotes, i think i feel like i have O.o
omfg. but i did see Harold and Kumar II. Funny stuffies, though a lot of it made me blushh.
plus i saw it with like 7 other guys haha.