i think im at my lowest low right now, but i guess im in denial about it because my mind and heart feels numb...my mom just had to be the person that she is and see right through me and it sucks...that my walls can be torn down... i did a good job at fooling myself from everything except for her..i know i am very prideful and never ever want somebody to pity me, thats why i keep most of my sadness and troubles inside...i know i deserve more, and shouldnt be hanging by the thread like this...i didnt know i was this depressed until all these tears start falling down...but tears are just a waste of time and energy and its pointless, because frankly it just dont solve anything...my only pride and joy nowadays  is my Mochi...this x-Mas is probably going to be the most loneliest one yet..isnt that ironic that eventhough somebody is next to all the emtpy space in my heart cant even fill up this void in my heart