Weblog
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
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No one reads Xanga anymore...which actually helps.
I'm sick of being the only person in a friendship with the feelings for the other person. It'd be nice for once in my life to hear "I like you" and not either "I used to like you", "I'm flattered", or my new favorite that I got today, "You're cool".
Am I so unlikeable?
A. Bob
Monday, June 16, 2008
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I have a job interview at Napa tomorrow. It's still far from what I want to be doing, but at least if I work there I won't be working weekends and nights and basically having my life sucked out of me. Oh yeah, and I'll be making enough money that I can live in Brooks's apartment, which right now I am far from doing.
Other than that, everything else in my life is the same as it was a week ago.
I was looking through my graduation cards - both HS and college - last night and thinking about how much better my life seemed back when I graduated high school and seemed on my way to great things - or at least good things. I don't know how I'd feel then if you told me that now I couldn't even buy a 'real' job interview after I left college. I know it happens to a lot of people, but I always had thought I'd avoid being one of those people. I feel like such a disappointment for still grubbing for work.
A. Bob
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
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I'm sorry for the unusual moment of pride, but I deserve a hell of a lot better than to mean nothing more to the girl I like than to be a sounding board for her whining about her unrequited feelings for some other guy. I'm a pretty decent person and I'm sick of waiting around to see if anyone will bother to realize it.
A. Bob
Thursday, June 05, 2008
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I still don't have a job...I still don't have an interview...but there's a reason to be confident.
Last night, Mark's brother Scott became the latest person to try to help me out. A fellow Ball State alum, Scott is apparently a whiz with resumes and said he'd take a look at mine. I saw his and he sure seemed to know what he was doing. Better yet, he says he knows a guy named Chris Cooley (not the Redskins TE) who played NFL Europe and knows people in the industry and would pass me along.
It just made me think about how many people are TRYING to help me. Levin tried, my mom has tried, my uncle Don has tried, my grandparents have tried, and there are more that I am not remembering, I'm sure. With all these people looking out for me, you'd think I HAVE to find something eventually, right?? I mean, I'm a bright kid with no black marks and a lot of experience...SOMETHING has to be out there for me.
Not much else to tell right now...I'm still working at the theater, looking forward to Cubs Trip (less than 3 weeks now), and preparing to move in with Brooks and CFD, coming in July. I'm really looking forward to that. I love my family and will miss home, but I feel like I'm past the point that I should be living here.
A. Bob
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
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Hatred
I don't understand how someone I'm technically directly related to can be so evil.
I don't understand how a man who fathered four wonderful children - and me - could be such a twisted, disgusting, sick man.
I don't understand how my mother, the single most amazing person I have ever or will ever meet, could've let herself ever get mixed up with the likes of the most evil person I've ever known.
I didn't understand the true meaning of hatred until I learned exactly what he was all about. None of you know exactly what having total and complete contempt for someone is. None of you can understand actually wishing that your own father would drop dead. That's how horrible he is.
I just don't understand how one of these sagas ended up playing out in my own life.
I feel so horrible for my two youngest brothers - wonderful teenage boys who don't deserve to have their lives torn apart by this disgusting man.
It just makes me so sad to even think about.
A. Bob
