Tuesday, March 11, 2008

• What I wish I knew.......

  My marriage is anything but perfect. I love my husband very much, and have since the very day I met him. When it comes down to it, I suspect I have a better marriage than most, but not the perfect marriage that some people might think.
  Occassionally, he loses his mind and wants to fight. It always happens at the most inopportune times, and can really throw a wrench into my plans at world domination. Sometimes he forgets things that are supposed to be important, like anniversaries, or birthdays. Sometimes he is just downright rude, and annoying.
  Sometimes, I look at him and wonder what the hell I was even thinking.
  
  But these times are few and far between and that to me, is the most important part of marriage. Taking the bad, in stride. Agreeing to disagree when neither of you is willing to give up the reins and loving each other, no matter what stupid things come out of your respective mouths.
  
  Here are a list of things I didnt know before getting married (but wish I had)....
  
  1. It takes years to get to know someone and even longer to put up with their quirks enough to say it is a lasting relationship. It may be love at first sight, but you never really know someone until you have lived with them for a few years and they have started using bodily noises as fight deterrent techniques.
  
  2. No matter how much you think you love them, there will always be a moment that trumps all, and it hits you all over again. For me, this was when my husband cried because the baby learned to hold his own bottle.
  
  3. Men do not like taking pictures. They bitch when you take pictures. They cringe when you tell them to take a picture of you. But they sure do love flipping through old baby books.
  
  4. If you look at the past five years of your life and list the five top greatest things to happen to you, and at least two of them are completely outside of your relationship with your partner, you are ready and independent enough to join your life with someone. Never let go of the great things in your life, just learn to share them with the people you love. For me, that was inviting my husband to enjoy my blog. (hi honey!)
  
  5. You can't change a man, unless he is in diapers.
  
  6. Husbands will stop wining and dining you if you let them, so keep them on their toes. My husband knows he must put forth a little more effort and take me out sans kids at least once a week. Otherwise, that Ten-PM-tap on the shoulder is going to probably be ignored. *Note- the ten-pm-tap is a trademarked move by all fathers who insist on getting nookie without being romantic, although it almost always proves effective, it is much more reliable when preceeded by the 9:30-surprise-back-rub as well as the 8:30-put-the-kids-to-bed-boogie.
  
  7. On that note, count how many nights you DONT get to have sex, instead of the nights you do. Generally the number is much higher, and not as daunting.
  
  8. Husbands have selective hearing. For them to hear what you have to say, its best to talk during commercials, and bring a plate of food with you.
  
  9. Every marriage is different. If someone tells you they have the perfect marriage, they are not only lying to you, but to themselves as well.
  
  10. Mother-in-laws can be obsessive and annoying, but they are probably trying to help.
  
  11. Ex's are that for a reason, because they arent worth the time or effort of a relationship, leave them in the past and never look back. Everyone deserves a clean slate, even you.
  
  12. The grass isnt even CLOSE to greener over there.
  
  13. When the books all said "Marriage is hard work" they werent joking. Its a full time job, and a commitment. Make sure you are so overly ready.
  
  14. Look good for your spouse. Dont let yourself go, and gain ten pounds because you are married. Be the reason that your husband can't keep his hands off of you. Work hard at being something he can brag about.
  
  15. You gotta let him do his own thing. Race cars, go fishing, install linux on every computer in the house. Whatever he wants to do, let him go out and do. He will be much easier to please when you dont have to be the one handfeeding him the pleasure spoon.
  
  16. send notes in his luggage. (or steamy polaroids)
  
  17.Dont fight about doing the chores.No one's house is clean all the time, and if he stops helping out, go on an underware laundry strike. Or a shaving cream buying drought. He will get the point and start pitching in.
  
  18. As much as we want them to, men cant read minds. You have to tell them precisely what it is that you need or want. You dont want to be saying "Im lonely" because he might just come home with a puppy or something. Try saying "I want to spend more time with you" instead. When it comes down to it, if you expect him to know what you are thinking, you are going to be dissapointed. Save yourself the hassle and open your mouth.
  
  19.Men look at other women. Get over it.
  
  20.If you are going to beat the odds, you have to work as a team.
  
  
  21.Love the one you are with. even if sometimes he can be a total pig.
  
  
  
  Do you have anything you would add to this list?
  
  
  If you enjoyed reading this, please leave me some stars!
  
  
  

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