Thursday, May 08, 2008

  • Dear Perez Hilton

    Dear Perez Hilton,

    I dont know how you do it, you know, have the inside scoop on every celebrity out there all at once. I am worried that there might be clones of you scoping out the front gate of every house in hollywood. This sounds worse than any zombie apocalypse I could ever imagine, but Regardless, I am writing because I find myself disgusted at the very thought of being in the same profession as you. Mind you, I actually write and you just vomit up celebrity news, but when someone at the hospital asks what I do for a living and I have the honor of telling them that I blog and am met with "Like that Perez Hilton Guy, neat!" I immediately insisted on adding an antiemetic to the bag already dripping into my veins.

    You are not a writer. You are not a celebrity. I am not even entirely convinced that you are human.

    Please die in a fire.


    Love,
    December

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