Thursday, May 15, 2008

  • It isnt a rocket launch, its just sex.

     "There may be some things better than sex, and there may be some things that are worse, but there is absolutely nothing like it. " WC Fields.



    Growing up the way that I did, there were certain things I was taught about sex. One, which seemed to be driven home the most was certainly to save yourself for marriage, lest you get to your bridal night, and your husband would immediately divorce you because of your lack of purity. This of course was christian propaganda at its best, but has affected my view on sex even to this day.

    I wanted to research sex, and not just the kind of sex you find in pornography. I wanted to know what sex was like for people living three thousand years ago, and what it means to have sex.

    The following are the metaphorical fruits of that labor.

    Seven things that prove sex is good for you.

    1. Love will keep us alive.

    Its true, sex makes you live longer. It creates an emotional bond between you and your partner, increasing levels of oxcytocin and inducing a euphoric "high." I dont remember getting high being as much fun as having sex, but this is what the experts say. Oxcytocin is a hormone released after orgasm by the pituitary gland, and can also explain why men fall asleep right after sex, so readily.


    2. Its like, FREE makeup.

    The Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland did a study regarding sex. They put participants behind a glass wall and asked questions regarding their sexual activities with their respective partners. The participants who said they were having sex looked anywhere between 7 -12 years younger than their other less sexual counterparts.Sex raises the level of estrogen in the womans body, making her hair shiny, her skin supple, and her mood immeasurably better.

    3. Not tonight I have a headache!

    Lies, its all lies. Having a headache is the perfect excuse to do the horizontal boogie. Sex not only raises your pain tolerance, but it releives pain  better than anything you can find in a bottle, and with the right precautions, no side effects!
    Next time your wife says she has a headache, offer to help her get rid of it. Fun for you, painless (usually) for her. Win/Win.

    4. Sex is fun.

    If laughter is the best medicine, someone forgot to tell that person about sex. Its a workout in itself, but a fun one, that you can do for free, without having to put on any special gear (besides protection.) Sex creates an atmosphere unlike any other, when done right, both parties should be left whimpering and feeling completely out of their minds. If you havent done it to that, you aren't doing it right.

    5. DHEA? What?

    Yep thats right, DHEA or dehydroepiandrosterone is released naturally during sex. DHEA spikes to levels 3-5 times higher right after orgasm and can decrease depression, obesity, Systemic lupus erythematosus, and also helps prevent aging. All this, from a little sex?

    6. Stress relief.

    Sex relieves stress. Stop arguing and just get naked.

    7. Sex lets you live out every fantasy you have ever had.

    Want to dress up like headmaster of hogwarts and spank the hell out of one of your students? Go for it, roleplaying is not only healthy, any therapist you ever go to will tell you that it is healthy and in the right situation, can actually improve sex for both partners.First, make sure you are on the same page. Showing up in a costume without letting your partner know ends horribly, trust me, I know from personal experience. There is an unlimited     selection of ways to role play. Slave/master teacher/student service worker/housewife doctor/patient escort/client. If you run out of ideas, look some up or ask someone, like me, who is very open sexually. When you run the gamut of sexual experiences, you have to try new things and keep things fresh. First things first, be safe so as not to have more little you's running around in nine months, then get as dirty as your conscience will allow.



    Remember, sex should be fun. If you can't do it with someone, do it with yourself. Don't be shy, if you cant get there, no one else can get you there either. So practice practice! Safety first, and remember, dont flush your jack socks down the toilet, just learn to do your own laundry.





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