My mother called him Italy, not because he was italian but because that is where his service to the united states military left him. He was the big fish. The one that just got away. The one who taught me everything I ever needed to know about love. Unconditional love.
There is no italy, I tell my mother, reassuring myself again and again.
I spent three days in the middle of the worst blizzard in colorados last twenty five years, just to kiss his face on the beach of Biloxi Mississippi as the sun snaked through the water and bit lightly at our faces. Flushed pink with excitement. For this reason, I call him biloxi for the way he smiled underneath his baseball cap.
I had the one, clutched in my fists. I held tightly to his chest I prayed to god he would never leave me, and finally I broke under the weight of years of military service dividing us. But he is there, beyond the horizon.
The one man who has ridden this wild horse, yet let her run free, without constraints, without reins. Many people have questioned my morals. Made assumptions about my life, and what little life Ive actually led. I haven't wasted a moment. Ive cried like Ive needed to, and loved as good as I can love. I am not jaded, I am waxed and buffed, ready to be put back out on the lot.
My dreams are going to stay big, despite your doubt. Ive already made the mistakes, its my turn in the sun, If you'd kindly step aside.
This has nothing to do with Miss XangAmerica, but if you liked it, please recommend it to your friends, and go vote for the last time at
Spideys site.You can even copy/paste A win for antisoccermom is a win for everyone.I vote ASM!
Comments (21)
You and I both. Excellent.
Well, Freud was right.
I was reading your wonderfully written entry, and where you wrote "as the sun snaked through the water" I read "as we ran naked through the water."
dang it!
@wlfspirit - that made me tear up a bit. thank you.
want some suntan lotion?
dreams are nice
Stay strong! Dreams are always our driving force to do something,
Without it well; I don't know what we would do on our daily life.
Let it be small or let it be big. Theirs always something to achieve!
-Austin
P.S. Keep your head high up :D
Thanks! Xanga is a fun time for sure.
Like someone before me, I read it as naked through the water. Haha
hell yeah, own that shit lady
These are really strong words, December. Not too many people realize that loving someone doesn't necessarily mean holding on to them and never letting them become their own person. He wasn't the one that got away. You were. :)
(Did you get a chance to take a look at my radio; I think it was offline when you visited; internet crashed apparently while I was gone).
I felt this one...
...seeing that I'm a military man myself. Its hard.
I admire your strength, my dear.
And I remember Biloxi.
@Evowookiee - You're a sick puppy! ::grin:: I would've read the same or worse...
I think we all have the one that got away.. The one that made us feel alive and on fire with the sweet nectaur that we want to believe life to be. Sometimes it is almost better to leave those as that, cause perhaps that all that person is meant to be on your journey... We learn, we live, we love...
@wlfspirit - No..you were spot on...sometimes...you come across those...special ones...and you just have to be grateful that you were allowed / she allowed you to caress her...
@Viktorious1 - that is what IM here for. Thank you for coming by.
best to dream big, and live big.