Sunday, May 04, 2008
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DEFINE WHO YOU ARE
http://www.xanga.com/Kween_of_the_Queens for milords and miladies
I've often wondered about who I am. Strangely enough I am more aware of who I was than who I am and the logic and purpose for either has always escaped me. As one grows older I believe there's a strong need to discover both reason and meaning to one's life. The only constant in my existence has always been the writing. I've always walked outside of life, watching the train, longing to travel but never buying a ticket. There were times that I envied those riders, those brave enough to board and take the train to what juncture it leads. But I never joined, never became a passenger; I've always remained a stranger watching from the platform as they pulled away. This is the only existence I've known, to watch and then to exit but never to be a part. I am the wind that blows across the deserted prairie, the furthest star in the deepest of nights. I am who you pass without seeing on your journey; the drunk in the alley, the fallen on your battlefields. I am all of these and more. I am the recorder of your journey. I am a writer.
bill/elliott
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Comments (31)
MiLord (Perhaps this is something I should discontinue as a greeting?),
Outsider? I believe that those who write (and I claim to be among them from time to time) are more observers than outsiders. Although if this is the way you see yourself, than who am I to question? Writers serve an ultimate purpose, to preserve our social and emotional histories. Be they in truth or fiction, they give the general public a window upon which to gaze in order to see themselves at another time, place or situation. A good entry. Thank you so much for your participation. You've been linked and starred~Kween
@Kween_of_the_Queens - No Milord and Miladies is cool; I wrote my post late and thought I spelled it wrong. The outsider viewpoint is hard to explain. Josie once said I put up walls and never let anyone inside. Maybe the walls have been up so long that I no longer know how to tear them down.
bill/elliott
@REDPOPPY1 - The train was a metaphor for the choices in one's life but if I could still buy a ticket; I honestly don't know where my destination would be.
I don't know, have a family, a wife, children? A career? maybe that's why the characters in my books seem so real; maybe I live life through them.
bill
I have enjoyed reading your entry for this challenge.
I can paint a picture in my mind how your have described you waitching from the platform.
i think you have lived life you have just observed many other peoples lives in the same instance.
@NightlyDreams - Yes ND, I've lived life in a madcap whirling escapade that was furious and unrelenting. I was so busy being the mad hatter that life just slipped by.
I can relate to this in one sense.. I get a powerful feeling of wanderlust in a sense... That I need to go and do.. to experience... Some gypsy or highwayman side in me urging me to freedom but I never quite take that step. peace
This is a fantastic entry! I like the imagery of the train.
It's not surprising that you know better who you were than who you are. We are constantly reinventing ourselves, minute to minute. Replaying old memories, examining old and recent experiences, deciding how we will feel about things... the present is only a breath away from the future... a state of limbo before we step into the unknown. We only really exist in the past.
@harmony0stars - true we being the sum of our existence
bill
that was beautiful writing, thanks for sharing,
take care,
love, Cyn
@FourthChance - Thanks Cyn, I enjoyed the pics on your site of your home.
I really liked this simple, yet moving and revealing entry.
Yet thru your writings you break down the walls and let people in. We get to see an intimate part of you everytime you write something from the heart. Somehting that touches our hearts.
Yet I know your feelings. I too feel as If I am watching life go by. Not as interested in joining. Still my journey differs from yours.
@SadnessPart1 - The truth is I'm only good on paper. I don't think anyone could get pass the walls.
bill
Outsider? I think that you are watching, and in your watching, you are participating. If you weren't there, would it be happening?
Much can be learned by observing. Very good point.
@arminus9 - Things look better if you let your self feel better! Negativity will get you now where. Cheer up! HUGS!
RYC: I'm sorry to hear you gave up looking for a publisher. But never give up writing.
@transvestite_rabbit - It was the dreaded time factor in my case. It can take one year, five years or ten years to land the right agent. Add another two to three before the book comes out if the agent lands you a contract. I'm 56, I didn't feel i had that much time to waste.
@arminus9 - Interesting post. It was deep.
Very deep.
its so interetsing how we as humans always want to know more and more about ourselves yet everyone around us sometimes know more then we ouselves know, if that made any sense
@TpC_ReiO - Thanks, sometimes the simpler stroke makes the deeper colour.
@Lauren_Nicole94 - Very true, some people can read peoplle better than those people can read themselves.