| | JAPAN
what is it with japan? why does it seem like their technology is tens of
thousands of years ahead of eveyone else's...
they have ridiculous high speed trains, gadgets that do amazing things,
bathrooms that double as kitchens, porn and beer vending machines and
robots!!!! friggin' robots!
we have paris hilton and the police academy movies...
this is an outrage!
so let me break this down... they invade china and
kill their people, then they bomb pearl harbor, then we nuke the shit
out of them, sending them into retreat... then 60 years later they're
building an army of housekeeping robots and devices like a coffee maker/personal data assistant!
nice.
SALADS
so i've been eating out a lot since i've been training... so much so
that i'm kinda sick of it and i can't wait to get back to my kitchen...
one of the things i miss most is making salads... i know what goes in
it and i know what kind of dressing i like (tastes vary)... so i hadn't
eaten a vegetable in like weeks right... and my body is starting to
morph into some unrecognizable putty... and i'm suddenly craving a
salad... and i want a greek/mediterranean type salad, something with
lots of veggies like feta cheese, olives and maybe some lettuce.
so i go walking around near my hotel and i find this place called
Johnny's Grill... i look at the menu posted on the door and they have a
greek salad... it should have been called "greek-style" or maybe
"greak" salad, cuz when i got it back to my hotel it was littered with
the most unwelcome green bell peppers and an unecessary amount of
onions... and get this... 3 small pieces of feta and 3 tiny olives....
mind you this salad is ginormous, a large, full take out container of
greens... and the dressing was a most disappointing excuse for
dressing... i think they watered it down... what is this communist
russia? post-communist russia? who the fuck waters down salad
dressing... it's not gin! idiots...
the next day i decide to place a take out order over the phone to the
cheesecake factory... i order a buffalo chicken salad right... and i
ask to have EXTRA buffalo sauce on the side... the chick asks if i want
the dressing and the sauce on the side too... and i said yes... so i
get there and i have to wait to pick it up at the bakery counter behind
all these mamouth patrons waiting to get their cheesecake right...
so i get up there and the chick starts giving me attitude just cuz i
have my headphones in and i'm like whatever... so she rings me up and i
give her a kidney to pay for it... it cost a fortune right... but it
was worth it cuz it's so friggin' good... and i'm really craving a
SATISFYING salad... cuz that bitch ass fuck up of a "greak" salad
didn't work...
so i get all the way back to my hotel and i begin to eat... the bitch
gave me 2 balsamic dressings on the side... no buffalo sauce to be
seen.... ANYWHERE!!! i was livid... "shit fuck bitch fuck shit ass
motherfuckin' shit fuck bitch ass shit eater!!!!" i said. i could
have called just to bitch but then my blood would boil and i jus wanted
to put this ugly salad drepression behind me... so i drown my salad in
balsamic dressing and ate it cursing through each bite... "fuck (chew),
ass (chomp), motherlovin' cunt (crunch), shit fucker (grind)!"
that episode sucked! i'm still not satisfied... the search continues...
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| | Posted 10/15/2005 4:32 PM - 2 views - 0 comments
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