Something Connsenttotreatment said sparked a thought process and I thought it would be best to continue it here.

When I was younger I thought that getting married was a for sure thing. I didn't know who, when, why, how, or what have you, but I was sure that I would marry somebody, someday. I figured Id have a classic family; a nice house in a cram packed neighborhood, a wife who didn't need to work out in the field, and four to five kids.

And today, I see nothing wrong with that. If that is how my life turns out, then that's what happens. But I've been thinking. (And we all know what predicements thinking has gotten people into.)

Assuming that I stick with this major, when I finish college, I'll still have a lot to do before I can become a licensed Architect. I have to go through a certain amount of internship that'll take a couple a years, I've got tests to take, and i might want to get a masters. All of that is going to take a lot of time and effort. I'm not saying that I couldn't do all of this and start a family, but I could focus a lot more on my passion.

I've grown up alone (as I would put it) so I'm used to that by now. But I did have friends, so I still get lonely. Its just annoying having these two apposing forces within me, one wanting to interact with people and form close relationships and the other wanting to remove myself from everyone and just be still.

So right now I realize the benefits of being married and of staying single. I'm standing squarely between both sides and I'll see where I am lead. Marriage to me is the closest relationship there is and that is something I'm looking for. But knowing my career is going to take a lot of time, I don't want to ask for commitment if I feel like I'm not fully committing. I don't want one to take over the other. I want the best of both worlds and right now I just don't know what is going to happen. I don't know if I should take the next step toward one end or not. I'll never know, but I'm waiting right now, waiting for the opportune moment. hahaha 

Feel free to join in anytime...

Another one. I saw this and at first thought that it'd be great. And it is. But the practical side loomed like hurricane Katrina in the distance; I had no idea where it would hit.

One question stood out above the rest. Why have two blogs when you can't ever take care of the first?

Well now, this blog hasn't quite bombed yet, thank you vary much. And I have ideas of what I plan to do. I just need to do more research into whether or not it'll be worth the time and effort to post about my particular passion that isn't very well known. But I could help change that. oh, rabbit trails...

But this other blogging site is already theamed, so my particular interest in Architecture really has no place in it. So what would I blog about?

This could give me a chance to open up more. (Something I'm prone not to do.) I want to be able to talk to people, to actually have intelligent conversations.

And what is preventing me from doing that here? Is getting another blog going to change that? Change who you are and how you deal with other people?

.................No, but I

No BUT's mister!

lol

And if I do want to get another blog, why?

Perhaps to be able to get out of a rut of acting a certain way? Because I feel like, because I've said certain things, I am a certain way. But that it isn't the way I really am? And that if I can start fresh, I won't  have this problem. Again.

But do I have this problem? Am I acting in a way that isn't me? Do I need to drop everything and start again or can i realize that its ok if people notice a change in you. That what normally happens. People see something in you, you don't know what it is, but apparently you ain't all that bad.

hmmm....I just reread this whole thing and I've really gone on to something a bit different here at the end.

Well, basically my point is this: Why have two blogs? Why should I have separate blogs for different parts of my life? I shouldn't, right?

Maybe I just so desperately want to be part of a close knit group of people that really care about each other and listen that I feel a need to to look for it everywhere. But am I putting forth the effort to do my part and be a friend to people or am I attempting to leach friendship off random people.

Maybe I should change my major, I'm starting to sound like a shrink.

Well, that might be defined as interesting. Even if it wasn't what I planned. It happens.



edit....
Fintanorstenlagh - White fire stone warrior