You know, I just don't get it.  Why is it that the enemy just keeps on trying when he knows that he will never be victorious?  He may be cunning but he sure ain't smart!  God has been doing so much in my life these last few weeks so today the enemy has hit us in every area that he possibly could.  Everything from finances to family issues and relationships.  But I see him for who he is and he will not be victorious.

God has just been amazing!  Before I had my accident, I really felt that God was calling me to become more involved in the women's ministry at our church.  I have such a passion for the women in our church family and a burden for all that they are facing each day.  I had talked to some others about stepping up.  Then I had my accident.  I found that between the accident and then my surgery, I had A LOT of free time.  When you are faced with that much alone time, you have a choice of how you choose to spend that time.  I have to be honest and say that for the first few weeks I spent it watching tv and sleeping.  Then I felt that urging of the Spirit to be more about my Father.  So I started spending time in His Word and in prayer.  I knew that He was calling me to this ministry.  When I was able to go back to church, He confirmed it over and over.  I was so on fire that I felt like I was ready to jump out of my skin!  The sermon was exactly dealing with what I was thinking and feeling.  Then after the service, someone came up to me and told me they wanted me to be praying about how God would use me in the ladies' ministry.  We get into class and even the class lesson was dealing with the same things.  All about stepping up and out and be ready to battle.  As I prayed through last week, I saw more and more about where God was going to use me.  I am going to work full time volunteer work with the women's ministry. I am so excited about the possibilities.  Then I realized that it would be hard for me to minister to the women if I did not know them and I couldn't get to know them if I stayed in my safe place which is our class.  This Sunday we said goodbye to the Sunday School class that we have been in for 10 years and going to a new one starting this Sunday.  I am so stoked that I feel like dancing in the streets.  But we know how satan doesn't like it when God's children are in His will so....  As frustrating as today has been, I want to say "bring it on".  He can't turn me away or defeat me.

We had a very laid back July 4th.  Billy had the full long weekend off.  That's very unusual for him with his job.  The kids also had the afternoons off.  They worked during the mornings and early afternoons but not the later afternoon and night.  We grilled out Friday and Saturday nights.  Sunday we had so many leftovers so I didn't have to worry about cooking.  Sunday we went to the mall and walked around and looked at all kinds of stuff.  Billy shocked me by liking a pair of gray and silver high heels!  I tried them on thinking that there was no way he was gonna like them!  But that's okay because I REALLY like them and they were on clearance.  We ended our window shopping time with a soft pretzel and drink.  It was relaxing and a lot of fun.  The weather for the entire weekend has been crazy.  Thunderstorms every afternoon.

I started back to PT today.  It was VERY painful!  I was frustrated that things seemed to be back at square one.  Not only is the one vertebra out of line but now another one has twisted lower down.  I go to the orthopaedist tomorrow so I am going to get her to give my spine a good going over to see what she thinks.  I was hoping that I would be released soon so we could get the insurance settlement before Will's wedding.  I have no idea how we are going to pay for this child's wedding.  God knows our needs and His Word tells us not to worry or be anxious about anything so I am laying this down at His feet.  I look forward to getting back full force into working out and PT.

Well my friends, it's time for bed.  I have to get up early tomorrow so it's early to bed tonight.  Hope that you each have a wonderfully restful sleep.  Love you guys!

I cannot believe how long it has been since I have been able to blog.  You will never know how much I have missed you guys.  But sitting to blog just hasn't really been an option between healing from the accident and surgery.  so much has happened that I hardly know where to start.  God has been so good and faithful that I think I will focus on that!

As far as the accident recovery goes, I am still plugging along.  I had to take a 2 month break from the PT to recover from surgery.  I still have a couple of weeks before I can go back to PT and I really REALLY can't wait.  I think that things are slowly getting better but my back and neck still give me a lot of problems and hurt a lot if I am out and about for a very long period of time.  But God is good and He has given the relief needed during recovery.  Oh how I long to get this crazy accident behind me so I can move on.  I am so ready to finish up with the PT so we can move ahead with the insurance settlement.  I know that I can't rush things and have to be sure that I am totally healed before that happens.  They say that could be up to 6 months but God has the final say on that, right?!  So I give it to Him.

I had my tummy tuck on May13th.  I wasn't sure if I was going to get to have it but the doctors finally cleared me the Friday before I had it on Tuesday.  Talk about cutting things close.  I had already prayed about having the surgery so soon after my accident but God has given me such a sense of peace about it that I knew the time was right.  I wish I could say that things went well and were easy but I would be telling you a lie.  The surgery went great.  So many people had told me how painful this particular surgery is and how long it took to heal from it.  I know that I have a really high pain threshold but I didn't find it to be that painful at all.  In fact I rarely used pain medications.  The next day things started to go very wrong but God was already at work before we even knew there was a problem.  The took my cath out so I could start getting up and walking and going to the bathroom.  The first time I started to get up, I started feeling really dizzy while sitting on the bed.  By the time I got to the restroom, I started jerking and they had to come get me and carry me back to bed.  By that time there was blood running down my legs.  They couldn't find where it was coming from and went ahead and called the doctor.  While they were doing all that, I had to go to the restroom again.  The same thing happened.  The doctor got there less than 5 minutes after they called him.  Found that I had bled out into my belly apparently during the night and the blood was coming out from around where my drains were.  They ran a CBC and my hemoglobin was below a 5 and hematocrit was a 11.  Both are so low that normally the body starts to go into shock and heart and other organs start to shut down.  But god has me so tightly in His hand that all the things that should have happened-didn't.  I had to get 2 units of blood which was odd for me.  Never had that happen before.  The next day they gave me procrit that helps boost the blood.  My blood levels were still very low when I left the hospital but we had to stand on faith that the medicine would do what it was supposed to.  I have had several other different issues come up during my healing.  They had taken one drain out and then I started bleeding out from around the other one so that was another issue.  I ended up having my second drain in a lot longer that normal but finally had to have it removed before it started to grow in.  After that I started retaining a lot of fluid in my belly, feet and legs.  Ended back up in the ER for a day of testing and CT scans which all still showed that the fluid was sterile fluid and I was not bleeding out again.  I went back to the surgeon for follow up an found out that I had about 5 pounds of fluid in my stomach so they decided that I had to go back into surgery to drain it and put another drain in for 3 weeks.  I have been second guessing myself and kicking myself about having surgery so soon after the accident.  I was so confused because I did have that sense of peace after praying so I didn't understand how so many things could go wrong!  But then God revealed Himself this Tuesday.  Monday I still had the fluid in my tummy.  Tuesday morning I got up to get to the hospital for my surgery and my stomach was complexly flat!  I went on to the hospital but told them that I wanted to doctor to look at my stomach before they started running the iv lines.  He met me in the hall, winked at me and said that he had heard I had something to show him.  We went into my surgery room.  I looked at him and asked him if he believed in the power of prayer.  I already knew the answer because we have discussed our faith and love for Christ on several occasions.  He indeed said yes so I told him that people had been praying for me 24 hours a day since the day I walked out of his office after finding out that I had to have this surgery that I really REALLY didn't want to have.  He took one look at my stomach and said"now that's what I'm talking about!  That's the stomach that I gave you in surgery."  He yelled for them to cancel my surgery.  Then he looked at me and told me to get out of there and go enjoy my day.  I can tell you that there was not one person that I came in contact with at the hospital that did not hear about the power of prayer and the faithfulness of God.  I go to a nail salon where the owners are buddhist.  I have tried to witness to them several times.  I just love on them every time that I go in and pray for them.  I went to get my nails done after I got home and shared with them about how the one true God hears the prayers of His children and is faithful to answer them.  I could tell it fell on deaf ears but they heard it.  You see God didn't allow this surgery to go as I had thought it should.  But He had given me the peace because He knew that He was going to use it to bring Him glory.  He used it for me to be a witness for Him to those that may not know who He is.  He used it to remind those os us that are believers that He is still in the miracle business.  He is such an awesome God!  I am still singing His praises and will be until He takes me to be with Him!

I have found that plastic surgery is a lot like having a baby.  When in labor, you say that you are never going to have another baby.  But after it's all over and you see that beautiful baby, you change your mind and look forward to adding to your family.  The week I was in the hospital after my surgery, I was saying that I would never have plastic surgery again.  Now that things are healing and I feel so good, I am starting to look at my arms and think about when I can get them done.  I guess that goes under that never say never category!  But I have to admit that I am ready to move ahead and try to get rid of the rest of this loose skin.  It really does make me feel yucky and is very uncomfortable.

Okay, so I haven't hardly said a word i months and today I have written a book.  Sorry about that!  It's good to be back and I will try to get by every one's sites.  I don't know if I will be able to go back and read all that I have missed but I will do my best.  Hope you all have a great weekend.  Tomorrow is my birthday.  I have been celebrating since Wednesday and will be until next Tuesday.  I am indeed blessed to have so many people that love me.  God is indeed good.