What do you think of this quote?
"Why is pornography the number one snare for men? He longs for the beauty, but without his fierce and passionate heart he cannot find her or win her or keep her. Though he is powerfully drawn to the woman, he does not know how to fight for her or even that he is to fight for her. Rather, he finds her mostly a mystery that he knows he cannot solve and so at a soul level he keeps his distance. And privately, secretly, he turns to the immitation. What makes pornography so addictive is that more than anything else in a lost man's life, it makes him feel like a man whithout ever requireing a thing of him. The less a guy feels like a real man in the presence of a real woman, the more vulnerable he is to porn." From Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge
It's a bit of pop Christian literature, I know, but I tend to see his way here.
Partly because of feminism, men have been given the impression that they aren't to fight to find, win, or keep their women. According to them we are supposed to be equals who enter into some sort of mutual contract of care and understanding or something like that. It's also that they don't realise that women, regardless of their complaints (or at least how they used to complain about masculinity, back when feminism was more powerful), want men who are wild, and valiant. Men don't realize (or want to realize) that they have to be conquerors, at least of themselves and their fears, if they are to really find the beauty they crave.
Comments (7)
Not all people who watch porn watch for the raw sexuality and improbable proportions...
Others watch pornography for it's comical and humorous aspects...
I agree with Eldredge, and also what you said at the end. I'm not a feminist... or at least not one as strong as my female friends.
But I'm interested in why you think it's "a bit of pop Christian literature". Is pop Christian literature bad in your mind?
My intended comment became three pages, so I'm placed it on my blog as a post.
Some people watch porn because it simply satisfies wanton desires for sex. Sounds like wannabe weak folk psychology to me. I don't know a guy who watches porn and has issues with "feeling like a man" and "fighting for her." In fact, in or out of a relationship, any guy I know watching porn has nothing to do with their involvement with women. Certainly some guys (the kind that call the hot lines) may use it as an outlet for deeper problems they have, but even if the majority of people like that happen to watch pornography, they make a mere minority of the total population of people who watch pornography. And I have yet to see any statistics say that people in relationships or with "real women" watch less or no porn at all. In fact, the statistics I have seen indicate that people tend to watch it just the same or slightly less, even after being married.
I agree with the comment above. Men are more drawn to the physical side of a relationship as aposed to the woman. A woman is more interested in the mental part of the relationship. now my opinion may be biased because well.. I am a woman but really
"Not all people who watch porn watch for the raw sexuality and improbable proportions..." It's true.. honestly I dont know what to say to this post I just don't agree with it is all.
@VersaGratis -
Pop Christian literature typically does a poor job of supporting its points with evidence, instead it realies heavily on anecdotes, stories, appeals to emotions, it tends to overgeneralize, etc. Actually, Darkwolfofvoid's comment points out typical flaws.
I can forgive pop Christian literature when I think of it's intended audience: it's preaching to the choir. But it would be nice if it supported its points better.
I'd be careful with the whole "men should be conquerors" thing. Don't take that too far. Only conquer when it's necessary, i.e: when "conquering" is a much more satisfying option than cowering or keeping your mouth shut. Use your head first, then "fight". Only get into a conflict to try to work it out and attain peace and happiness. Sounds kind of hippie-ish, but they're good principles to live by I think.
Dunecat has spoken!