| | Wedding in Black & White: The Director's Cut
Here is our wedding invitation as I had originally envisioned it.
I am going to go out on a a limb and guess that all the males of the species will say, "Dude, that version is so much better." All the females of the species will say, "I can't believe you would do such a thing," and express perverse levels of indignation.
I know.
Surprise, surprise, though: Christina initially OK'd the original concept. It was a concession she made in light of her adversity to planning all things wedding [not that I took any more initiative, but I offered to design the invitations].
Christina thought I must have been joking, but we all know that I do not have the emotional capacity for humor. So when she saw the final image, my authority on the matter was officially overruled under wedding provision 1A--The Bride Gets Everything She Wants.
"It's too dark," she said. "And the gun will make people uncomfortable."
"It's only because they can't deal with the sheer friggin' awesome that the image is."
[I did indeed use the word "awesome" as a noun. That's how I roll.]
"I didn't think it would turn out like that when you described it to me," she said.
"How else did you think it would turn out? You saw the sketches."
"But it's not romantic."
"Sure it's romantic. Look, it's like I'm all sweet and sensitive and crap. And I'm holding you and saying, 'Hey, baby, I won't ever let you go.' But then there's that other side, the awesome side, and it's saying, 'And I'll bust a cap in any chump that messes with you. Forever.' You can't get any more romantic than that."
Christina wasn't convinced. I was dumbfounded.
Then came the public backlash from namby-pambies and philistines everywhere, so my original vision lay censored and unseen on my hard drive for many a dark day.
So maybe having a handgun on a wedding invitation is in questionable taste [it offends me greatly to entertain such an accusation as my taste is impeccable]. But the image fits the context of the movie theme we have for our wedding. And what is the movie of my life like? It would invariably have lots of firearms and lots of zombies. But I thought having zombies in the invitation was just a little too much. You can only have so much of a good thing.
In the original image there's tension, drama, excitement, and mystery alluding to great trials that must be overcome for the sake of love. That's the kind of movie I envisioned for the theme. That's a movie worth the price of admission. All we get in the edited version below is me looking like some sleepy-eyed dope. Whoop-de-do.
Christina had a happy-go-lucky, romantic comedy in mind for her version of the movie theme. But could you imagine me in such a thing? It's unwholesome and an offense to reason. And I promise you that there wouldn't be a single zombie in it.
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| | Posted 9/23/2006 1:18 AM - 19 views - 23 comments
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