| | Picture this:
It's August in New England. In the shopping malls are 'seasonal' decorations of dark green trees laden with Spanish moss and of palm trees buffeted by rainstorms. All the muzak and easy-listening radio is filled with songs about how the swamps are rising and the gators bellowing and Jack the Skeeter is nipping at your nose. Parents tell their children to be good or else the hurricane will get them. City parks open up temporary lakes for water-skiing and skin-diving. Kids draw pictures of manatees and barracuda. People encourage each other to get into the spirit of the season by putting fake hurricane debris in their yards. Everyone complains that summer in New England just doesn't look "August-y" because there's no Spanish moss or lovebugs. August was invented by the Romans in a Mediterranean climate far away from trappings of Florida summer, but nevermind that.
Now picture this:
It's December in Florida. In the shopping malls are 'seasonal' decorations of fake snow and curiously shaped conifers. All the muzak and easy-listening radio is filled with songs about how the snow is piling up and the sleighbells are jingling and Jack Frost is nipping at your nose. Parents tell their children to be good so that an elf in a parka will give them candy. City parks open up temporary ice-skating rinks when it's seventy degrees outside. Kids draw pictures of reindeer and polar bears. People encourage each other to get into the spirit of the season by putting fake snow in their yards. Everyone complains that winter in Florida just doesn't look "Christmas-y" because there's no snow or icicles. Christmas was invented by the Christians in a Mediterranean climate far away from trappings of a New England winter, but nevermind that.
damn Yankees.
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| | Posted 12/5/2006 8:00 PM - 2 views - 4 comments
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