| | - bittersweet.
that will be the mascot word for the next couple of weeks.
i'm fearing that old rachel habit of hiding in autopilot when too many things are going on around me. because i come out on the other side of things having learned or felt nothing. but i'm scared of letting emotions get the better of me.
for instance, i booked my plane tickets and everything for this internship. in my mind i'm thinking "crap, i'm gonna bawl when i leave my family at the airport. what am i gonna sit there for 15 hours on a plane and do? miss people."
cue detatchment.
anyway. tonight we had the seniors goodbye thing at intervarsity. i was having flashforwards to lydia and i sitting there like them and looking back on things. its been 2 years in the fellowship and at this school and there's already been so much for our class. but 2 more years ahead and who knows what will happen. next year is definately going to be bizarre without sunitha, sam, mehul, sarah, lucy, scott, temi and everybody. i just pray for a lot of stepping up from our class and others. they've left some big shoes to fill.
bittersweet also because I HATE SCHOOL! and its eating all my time to connect with people and reflect and even just get ready for my trip. and clean this apartment. and pack. grr. but sweet because school is ending...indeed. and i am, in fact, going on this trip. something i never would have thought actually would happen.
i have a feeling this trip is going to be that "life changing"-"soul searching"-"self finding" adventures that they make movies about, so jen says. i dont know what i'm going to find on this or what i'm even looking for. but i'll letcha know when i get back what it was. lol.
i looked up the weather for edinburgh and its a GLORIOUS 60-70 degrees in the day time. i knew this weather preference has been in my ancestral scottish blood. i do not belong in riverside. its like riding a polar bear in the sahara. pretty much. except i won't spit at you. or maul you. unless you look like a desert seal. i guess.
i bought this big flowy white skirt with lydia and i wore it today. i felt so girly and i couldnt stop swishing it about and holding it while i walked. i'm such a dork. but you'd be too if your skirt had a good twirling size......bird?
one thing i love about riverside at this time of year is we have the most of those beautiful purple trees. i love purple. and well, a tree covered in purple flowers is just perfect. in fact, if i could pick a tree to put in front of my house. it'd be a purple one. and then i could tell people "yeah mine house is the one with the purple tree". and i'd be the crazy old purple tree lady. but the kids would love me because i'd give them pennies or life savers from the bottom of my purse.....well i'm getting about 50 years ahead of myself. lol.
anyway. i have school work to do. yes. school work. every stinkin day. something to do. ah well.
read ecclesiastes. it'll throw you for a loop.
~rachel~ |
| | Posted 6/1/2005 3:46 AM - 1 view - 2 comments
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