Currently Reading If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things By Jon McGregor see related

yep. still in scotland.

i start working on wednesday. i'm anxious and a little scared. if i mess up this week then i'm pretty screwed. but i think it will all work out nicely. i hope. hope hope hope.

i'm kind of getting over the period of being new and such an "american tourist". this place is starting to feel more like home. strangely enough. every day i wake up not in my bed. i walk a lot whenever i go anywhere. i ride double decker buses everywhere. i read a lot. i bought 3 new books hoping to tide me over until harry potter comes out but i'm half way through 2 of them and its only been like, 4 days since i bought them.

i watched a whole episode of the OC because i was craving seeing palm trees and small california license plates. its true. i'm homesick. but its fading a little.

its really warm. even thought its cooler than california, its still warm. and i dont like it. i guess i'm plagued to be in the sunshine. lol. that sounds funny.

i think it was a bad idea to come here with so many preconcieved notions of how things will be and whatnot. too many fanciful ideas of meeting some amazing guy to show me around the city, be my friend and fall in love....lol. or come here and sit in cafe's and read and be that mysterious foreigner in the corner. or even to come here and expect people to talk to me. lol. no one really seems all that interested to know me. even at the chruch i've gone to for the past 2 weeks. i guess i'm easily forgetable. i dont know. i liked to entertain the idea of blending in and getting lost in the city, but not this much! lol. oh well. now i'm making another silly idea that everything will change when i start working on wednesday. i hope it does. i honestly do. but it seems god is doing everything completely differently than i thought it would be. and so far i dont know what he's doing at all. i hate it when he does this to me over the summer and creates this solitude for me to sit in and mope. lol. but i'm sitll gonna cling to that hope that everything will be different when i get to interact with the same people every day at the theatre. lets cross our fingers, shall we?

read this book. its beautiful.

rachel