* When your stock begins to drop, gesticulate wildly to coax it back in the right direction. (Note: Also works in bowling.)

* If at all possible, start out with $80 million. This will reduce both the pressure on you and the risks involved.

* Go to a financial advisor and act as if you understand and are carefully weighing what they say, then blindly do whatever they tell you.

* Before choosing a brokerage firm, carefully study the TV commercials of several firms.  Go with the one with the most impressive ads.