I was reading through one of my old notebooks this morning. If you've ever worked with me before, you know that I use - always - a notebook, which I use for a myriad of different things. First, I always write out my to-do lists in these quintessential parts of my existence (). Second, I tend to write notes to people (whether or not they ever get sent/given is another matter). And third, and most tellingly, I tend to jot down my thoughts in these books - whatever happens to be foremost in my mind. Often, I find notes of absolutely and total confusion and annoyance in these notebooks - sometimes eloquent, sometimes just "Why the heck is this happening anyway?!" At any rate, it certainly tells a story when I look through these notebooks of mine...and this morning, one quote in particular, one that I wrote in my notebook a while after the primaries were over in May, and after the OC rally here was over... I remember thinking, "What now? The primaries are over...Ned is gone...the rally is over...So, what now, Lord?"

"I am going to miss it all so much! [I wrote, and later quoted in a protected post on my blog.] I woke up yesterday morning with a devastating thought. I had nothing to do…

"Of course, there are many things for me to do. Our campaign for Congress isn't over. GenJ’s Idaho Club has a very bright and promising future in Idaho politics. Jewels will be coming back to ID in August…and I’ll be going to GJ camp. And there are a lot of other things that I’ll be working on over the summer (that’s already begun!!!) Still…there won’t be any OC things to do – except pray for everybody. ......

"People have asked me if I’m relieved it’s all over. You know…I truly, truly thought I would be. I was on Wednesday night. Now, it’s just a satisfaction that I’ve done at least a small part of my part, and also a hankering for more to do, that’s left behind. I can’t help but feel there’s more for me – more for all of us – to do.

"Whatever God has in store, I think I'm ready, now, to hit it - head on. I want to tackle whatever task He would have me do. I feel nearly equipped...and it's most definitely NOT because of my own strength (for I haven't any). It's because I've learned that HE is faithful to equip us for whatever He sets us to. I could NOT have even come CLOSE to doing this without His guidance and strength."

This little excerpt from my notebook, that in many ways sums up my year, brought home to me something that I hadn't realized until now.....

On June 16th, 2006, I felt so confused as to what to do. God had brought me through what was at once a great struggle and a great triumph - namely, the primary elections and the coordination of one of OC's rallies. A couple weeks ago, I felt the same way. What would You have me do, Lord? I asked nearly hourly. It's not that I am not busy enough with school, work, and the like. It's just...a feeling of apathy can tend to overwhelm one when you've come out a period of time when you're poured your all into something.

The truth is - and I've come to this realization slowly, as is usual for me - where God has us, there we must work! Whether it's to do momentous tasks, or just to be the absolute best we can be at chemistry. Ned has said it...over, and over, and over, and over, it seems...and I'm finally starting to understand. Do the small things well.

I can just see God trying to get it through my head. Do the small things well, Emily...do the the small things well. Don't look down on the small things. Your sense of glory isn't like Mine. You may think that you have to be changing the future to be making an impact for Me...but you don't. Draw closer to me. Work hard. Use your time wisely. Touch other people. Love your family. Bless others.

So, here I am. I might be working at a bookstore this year, instead of paging for my representative. I might be working on chemistry, not working on campaign coordination. I might be doing dishes more than I'm doing literature drops. But...I'm going to do it, and do it well.

It's true. Whatever God has for me, with HIM, I'm ready to hit it. Head on. 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

I’ve been in a bit of a reminiscent mood lately. Looking back over the elections, my year, and my struggles. This year has been…well, amazing. And a huge growing experience for me.

During all this reminiscing, a verse came to mind last night. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And, of a sudden, I remembered a time, oh, so long ago, when that verse had given me strength. A time I really hadn’t thought about for a long, long while.

A time when things were so, so much simpler…

I was nearly eight. Katie, my bestest, dearest friend who was 10 whole years old, Gracie, her sweet, fellow-book-loving sister, my little sister Sarah and I had all decided we were to perform a play for our parents. Consequently, using one of my storybooks, I crafted a play from one of my favorite stories that had just the right amount of characters for our rather small but illustrious troupe. Each of us had a copy of our lovely, handwritten script, over which I had slaved for a good many hours. Each script, naturally, was properly worn to speak of constant use and love when the day of our play finally arrived.

We held the opening night performance in front of a vast and enthusiastic audience that consisted of Mr. and Mrs. H, Mom and Dad, my aunt and uncle, and my two older sisters. The Play House – a lovely outside building with an open front that my sister’s (ahem) friend Max* had built for us – served as a perfect stage. As Gracie and I peered around the corner of the Play House walls, watching our audience grow in size, we looked at each other nervously.

I remember all this quite clearly and vividly. Gracie looked at me, eyes wide, and said “We still need to set the table for the first scene.”

I was so, so terribly nervous. “Okay,” I said, following her up to the stage.

My heart started beating harder and harder as we set out our play teacups and plates, which bounty Sarah had recently received for her 7^th birthday. As we were setting these out, I remember – even to the tone of voice she used – Gracie reciting I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. She said it about twice, when I took it up with her. Katie joined in. Then Sarah. And within minutes, we were smiling peacefully at each other. No matter what the daunting task that lay ahead of us might entail, no matter how hard our many, many lines for the play were, we would be fine. Because we could do all things through Christ who strengthened us.

The grand opening night of our performance was an instantaneous hit with our adoring audience. Though Betty (Gracie clad in a lovely pink dress-up gown) did slip and fall when Mother-Dear (an obligingly taller, and therefore Motherly-looking Kate) called her to the kitchen, the audience cheered. Though while said Mother Darling gravely told the Betty and Alice (a pretty little Sarah in pig-tails and a prairie dress) their responsibilities in her absence, the cat that Mother held on her lap began to demurely sip the “tea” from her cup, our fans called “Bravo!” And when the Narr-a-tor, barefooted little Emily Anna in blue, delivered the last, climactic line – “For a trust, when broken, is not easily put back together!” – the audience went wild with enthusiasm.

It was a night to be remembered. A night of splendor and color and lights and beauty.

I hadn’t thought of it until just recently.

Today, I don’t face those sorts of problems. Today, my life isn’t even close to being that simple. But the same peace can be given to me. The same feeling of triumph, the same knowledge of Who is on my side can still be mine. With the faith of a child I surmounted obstacles that do not seem like mountains to me today. And yet today, with the faith of a child, I can look up to much, much higher peaks, and send them crashing into the sea. Because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.