Tuesday, May 13, 2008
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Talking about Sex
Is it appropriate for Christian girls to talk about sex at their bridal shower.
My little sister recently went to her first bridal shower and the girl got a bunch of sexy lingerie. That led to conversations and jokes about sex. My sister and her friend are single girls and are waiting to date until they have graduated college. They felt so uncomfortable at the party that they left.
She called me right before she left and asked what to do. I told her that, if she was uncomfortable being at the party to leave, but if she was okay with it to stay.
Does God care if single girls talk about sex when there are no guys around?
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Comments (9)
Sheesh...
I attended a Bachelors party about a week ago which consisted of no alcohol just alot of halo 3 :p which was quite boring in my opinion. However the next day all the girls came over after their party and I must confess I was shocked at some of the "toys" they had given the future bride the night before (not lingerie). I thought there are supposed to be at least a few things that are private and held sacred in marriage, not anymore I suppose...
I could even tell that the groom felt a little embarrassed almost and taken back when his future wife joked around as if they had had sex before marriage due to the fact that others had spread rumors about this and that he had taken the initiative to wait for the special night after they were married. I believe it almost felt like a slap in the face when she did not refrained from the joke especially when it deals with the subject that were extremely revered and private to him.
What do I know though? And the interesting part was that all the girls at the party are Christian and most of them homeschooled...
-Sam
God bless!
The Bible talks about being careful about "conversation" or speech - for instance:
# 2 Corinthians 6:7
in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left;
2 Corinthians 6:6-8 (in Context) 2 Corinthians 6 (Whole Chapter)
# 2 Corinthians 8:7
But just as you excel in everything--in faith, in speech, in knowledge,
in complete earnestness and in your love for us --see that you also
excel in this grace of giving.
2 Corinthians 8:6-8 (in Context) 2 Corinthians 8 (Whole Chapter)
# 1 Timothy 4:12
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an
example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in
purity.
1 Timothy 4:11-13 (in Context) 1 Timothy 4 (Whole Chapter)
# Titus 2:8
and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who
oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.
Titus 2:7-9 (in Context) Titus 2 (Whole Chapter)
# 1 Peter 3:10
For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.
1 Peter 3:9-11 (in Context) 1 Peter 3 (Whole Chapter)
I would say
that if the conversation was not crude and irresponsible - for
instance, if it was something that the speakers would have no problem
discussing with Jesus sitting there with them, then that would be fine.
If on the other hand, they were bordering on cursing or porn, then of course it would not be appropriate.
I think it depends on how sex is being talked about and the maturity of the group members. Generally speaking, I'd say the subject is too taboo amongst Christian groups. However, it's also possible to go too far and begin making innappropriate remarks and/or giving too much information.
I honestly don't know why you don't block me.
As someone that got married 10 months ago, I know I would have felt uncomfortable if my g/fs started talking about sex, especially in front of family and church friends.
If some of my old friends had been there I know I would have been embarrassed. I don't know if they have changed or if it is just me that has changed. They are loud, boisterous, and nothing is off limits in their conversation now. I don't think that they used to be that way. I know that I am embarrassed with some of the things that come out of their mouths, even when it is just old g/fs going out to lunch or dinner. One friend in particular uses the Lord's name in vain, and I just cringe. I have told her that her use of that string of words offends me, but she still does it anyway. She used to be my best friend, but then she decided that it was more important to go out partying, etc. than to be friends with me. Maybe that is the way that the Lord worked to separate us because our friendship was no longer good for me.
i dunno- its her bachelorette party!
In the bible the friends of the bridegroom stood outside while the couple made love in the room! It was necessary, so necessary it was almost public knowledge. I think the problem is we dont talk enough about sex when it is appropriate. There is alot of trash that has mixed in with the sacredness of sex and Gods holy purpose in it, but really i think... if it was talked about in a realistic way that also gave honor to what God created- then all the more appropriate. We hide so much behind the truth of sex and thats what sometimes causes to much curiosity.
If these people werent chrisitans and were being vulgar, or were and being vulgar i think that is different that just saying 'talking about sex' ... and then maybe the christians shouldnt if there were those there who were not close friends
Not exactly a Proverbs 31 moment, or so it sounds. I have to assume that it was inappropriate or no one would have felt uncomfortable. At the least Romans 14 should be applied in such a circumstance.
Hmm, I don't know. I just went to a bridal shower in which the bride got a lot of lingerie but there wasn't much talk about it, so I didn't feel really uncomfortable, but I probably would have if they had really talked about it. Good for your sister for leaving!
I am honestly surprised that your sister and her friend haven't heard more of this kind of talk about sex among single women. Since women's lib, it has become more and more common for women to be open about their sexual side. I attended a bachlorette party full of very devout Christian women, some married and some unmarried. Special gifts were exchanged and sex was spoken about, but in a very mature manner. I guess I'm just surprised that women are still uncomfortable about issues relating to sex. Sometimes, it is a difficult subject to talk about, but who better to speak with than other women that you're comfortable with and trust?
But, to each their own...I am glad that the girls were able to decide to leave a situation they weren't comfortable with.