| | My girl turns 4....
And she really *looks* 4 to me in this picture.
How does the song go?
"Turn around and you're two
turn around and you're 4
turn around and you're a young girl
going out the door."
The day of her birth went by without our even knowing that she
would be born on that day. Labor started at around 9pm. We
realized that it was labor around 10pm. She was born a little
over 2 hours later. We just assumed she would be born after
midnight on July 3rd, but our midwife was keeping track...to our
suprise, she was born at 11:52 pm on July 2nd. So we never knew
she was born on July 2nd until it was already July 3rd.  Here's her birth story, if you are interested in reading that far into this little dedicatioin.
Primeva told the birth story of her daughter last week, and one
thing that struck me about her dedication was her expectations of
how she thought her child should be is a contiinual struggle.. I
suspect that we all feel this to seme degree. We all have
preconceived notions of how our kids will be. It's funny...both
of my kids are different than I initially thought they would be, but my
son as an infant and my son as an 8-year-old are pretty much the same
person. However, my daughter has been in flux her whole life, and
it is hard for me to imagine her baby self as the same person she is
today.
She started out looking like an easy baby. She nursed well from
the beginning, and even slept
at regular intervals. She was a
quiet baby...either just peeking out from the sling, or sitting on the
floor like a little fuzzy-headed lump while she manupulated things with
her hands. At this point, the one clue to her strong personality
was her cries...which since her first hours after birth, raised roofs.
Then shortly after the older baby period, she started in with the stranger anexiety.
Then shortly after that, the tactile defensiveness became noticable, and
she wanted to be around nobody, unless she knew them very well.
Then the extreme sensitivity to sounds and sudden noises began.
And for the past year, I'm not allowed to talk to people when we are
out in a group. It's like she is afraid of losing me, the one
person she trusts and holds on to in a social situation, to the crowd
of mothers...afraid I will keep talking and talking and be unreachable
to her in her time of anexiety. The regular sleeping only lasted
about a week after birth...as many of you know through my jokes and
groveling at 4am about how irregular her sleep is, and how little of it she
seems to need.
And she stopped being geenerally quiet about a year ago. She is vivacious,
boisterous, and very alert to everything that is going on. She is
electric...she is so *on*! She has this amazing memory...she can
remember the location of misplaced items from 3 weeks back. And
she memorizes the lines of whole scenes of movies and kid shows, and
memorizes songs well, too. She's always on, and is a force to be
reckoned with. Poor ds. He is in such conflict. He
loves her immensely, but she just drives him wild with anger and
exasperatioin, too. She screams and throws things when unpredictable kids get within 10 feet of her. She kicks small
kids while she is in my arms when they are within distance to do
so. She does this, in my opinion, when she anticipates someone getting too close and invading her space.
She *loves* to shop for shoes and clothes. She's a pretty pink
girl, and lives in dress-up clothes, pretending the day away. She
loves food, especially if it is very flavorful and a bit spicy.
SHe loves decadent desserts too...especially if they contain dark
chocolate. She loves scents, and will spend an hour
smelling candles in the candle shop. If she is comfortable with
her surroundings, she would be right in her element going to high tea,
and sit there feeling very pretty and drinking tea from fine china and
eating good food. And she loves to talk...when she feels
secure.
Oh, how I fiercely love her.
And oh, how she turns me inside out again and again. I think I am
slowly starting to understand. She is stretching me in ways that
are very good for me. I just hope I can keep my head on straight and do right by her.
Heaven help all mothers and fathers!
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| | Posted 7/1/2004 10:17 PM - 1 view - 8 comments
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