Men's Wants and Women's Needs

It's the age old battle.  What do men really want?  Why are women so needy?  Is it really all that different?  Perhaps it is....maybe it isn't.

Last night, we were invited to go to a celebrational dance.  A rite of passage if you will...what we hispanics celebrate as the change of a girl passing into young womanhood.  We celebrate a girl's 15th birthday with a huge fiesta mixing religion, dance and feast called a quincinera....hey, what can I say? We like to party!

Anyway, we were invited by my hub's better longtime friends, whom I'll call DudeX for the sake of anonymity and easier typing. lol 

DudeX has been friends with the hub for over 6 years now, and in all of those six years we have yet to see him get serious with any of his fluttering girlfriends.  Why is that you ask?  Well, DudeX is looking for the perfect Dudette.  HE WANTS HIS PERFECTION!

Through the years, DudeX has come over at times to drink and inquire as to why his perfect Dudette has yet to surface.  I reminded him with his list (and we'll name a few things on it in a few) he was really narrowing the search down to practically no one other than June Cleaver! (excuse me, June!)   That if he just brushed off his search, his perfection would someday find him.

You see, what he wants in his woman is simple, so he says. 

• Healthy and shapely
• A looker (although it isn't THAT important to him.....rrriiigghhtt!)
• Smart (meaning educated, not necessarily street smart)
• Responsible
• Employed
• Brown Sugar (hispanic bred)
• Speaks the native language (this is high on his list as he loves his woman to be bilingual...expressing her pride in her heritage)
• Independent

As  you can see, his wants in a woman are detailed.  But I think he may have learned that he will need to bend a little in order to actually see she is right there.  The main important note was her independence.  Hub actually pointed that out to me last night. 

See, DudeX went last night with a date.  Someone who he was fixed up with by a former student of his.  It was his student's older available sister.  And let me tell you...what he wants in a woman couldn't come in a better package than what we met last night!  I was really very happy for him.  But that nudge to me by hub kinda picked at me all night.

"Basically what DudeX had been looking for was someone who he had fun with, could talk to, and would not be totally dependent on him."

I think that is exactly what some women look for in a man.  It starts out as a want....but in the end...the NEED changes a bit.  From what I have read over and over so far, we women want a Man to TAKE CHARGE and PROTECT and COMFORT us from time to time.  We need a man to be accepting of a little 'dependance' from his woman.  Men might see this as being clingy.  Women may see it as being wanted.

The ying....the yang...it all really goes together in a different sort of way doesn't it?

I mean, there are times no doubt where I may cling with claws for hub to be near me, console me, be my knight in shining armor...blah blah blah.

Then there are times I am superwoman who doesn't need a man in her life, just let me run my life on my own terms and I am happy.

But the yang runs out and I end up looking for that ying again. 

The want. 

The need.

DudeX is having the time of his life exploring his newfound want right now.  His checklist is slowly being marked off...though he has accepted he will have to bend a bit on this one.  She is everything he's ever wanted..so he says....the 2 flaws (not very bilingual, slightly larger than him) is something he says "is workable".  Maybe that's just his neediness talking.

Perhaps.