Fatty's workout plan...

well, I am a faliure.... I keep leaving and comming back saying it's now or never I am gonna lose.... and for the past...ummm, at least few months I have been 120-124... well I can't really put this off ne more... I figure I kinda have my sched. so if I put my plan in it I have to follow in right?  Plus I have to start a liquid fast (maybe celery too) as of tommorow (sat) since - I have 17 days  to lose as much as possible!

reasons: 

~watching my girls compete in a week (I don't have to wear tight clothes...but it would be nice

~being comfortable going out in jeans, or a semi fitted top!

~ Seeing my new dancer Beau who is in awesome shape...I wouldn't even wear a t-shirt infront of ne one now...let alone be able to be nkd!!!

~serving without my black shirt underneath...yup just a t-shirt ugh - arms

 ~PHOTO AND VIDEO SHOOT - MAY 2!!!!!!!!!!! (shit...this will haunt me iF I am even 114...stressing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

~ May 6th + 13th weekend - competition...representing

~ May 19th - Toronto  - going out, job contacts and dance contracts!!!!!!!!!!!!

Plan:

sat15th : teach dance 4hrs (10-3) , Serve 530-9   -> coffee, DP, celery (0)

Sun 16th : serve 12-3, 5-8 , out dancing -> DP, coke, soup (0-140 cal)

Mon 17th: stage rehersal 9-5, bus, miss sara, pilates  -> d coke, WATER (0)

Tues 18th: gym (burn 700+), clean room, rehersal 2hrs -> Water, gum

Wed 19th: Teach 1 hr am, shop black sweatbands, costumes, teach 5-10 -> 0-140

Thurs 20: teach 2hrs am, gym(700+), rehersal/show  -> soup (0-250)

Fri 21: serve, 12-3, teach 2 hrs..bus home/stay busy/tea pm -> tea

sat 22: dance 10-3,  Kris'  -> under 250!!!!

Sun: 23  - Day trip tp Tremblant / o cal

...don't have serving sched from here on...but:

mon 24: dance 1hr, tan, teach pm

mon-fri teach am, dance pm, tan/gym day....computer battery gonna die... :(

Currently Listening That I Would Be Good By Alanis Morissette see related

no, I am not ok - I feel aweful and am a bloody fuckin' mess (pardon my language) this time last year I was 110, then dropped under 100 a few weeks later when told 110 was too thin....I am no where near that now - on top of dance I am now serving - I am disgusting and want to die - at least my crazy 14+ hour days are starting... no sleep, gym, dance, tanning, dance, serving, dance...let the insanity begin.....an encore to last years performance....

That I Would Be Good

that I would be good even if i did nothing 
that I would be good even if i got the thumbs down 
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick 
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds 

that i would be fine even even if I went bankrupt 
that i would be good if I lost my hair and my youth 
that i would be great if I was no longer queen 
that i would be grand if i was not all knowing 

that i would be loved even when i numb myself 
that i would be good even when i am overwhelmed 
that i would be loved even when i was fuming 
that i would be good even if i was clingy 

that i would be good even if i lost sanity 
that i would be good 
whether with or without you 

Tues nite entry:

117.2   6.6lost since fri...>10 togo

Last night I b/p twice at my moms house :(  my face is nasty and puffy today.  But I was sooooo glad that somehow I'm still going down - yay!  Still supa large but down is better than up.  I hate my mom's scale thou cause it said I was 116.5..but at my place I was 117.2.

activity:

walking -150 cal

Dance class and rehersal crazy cardio 2nite!!! 31/2 hrs - 850+

Gym - 800

strenghthning at home (arms, abs, legs) - 50+

intake:

tuna +110

caramilk + 230 (I know I am aweful...but I love choc!!!!!)

soup+ 85

candy + 200

Incl my BMR I burned 3100, minus 625 intake = LOST 2475cal.... - .7lbs..hopefully...

I wanna be 116 somehtin tommorrow...we'll see (stupid water weight from salt in tuna and soup....hope you girls are doing well

Sunday morning: 119.4

Well - saturday I taught dance 10-3, had rehersal 3-5, then went to the gym for 1 1/2 hrs of cardio.  I got home and had celery.  Then my room mate had the girls over, and I had a bit of work to do...so while they watched a movie, I kinda...no I did eat nutella and 3 small cookies - I didn't want the cookies but needed something to help the choc come up... so I purged, then showered.... then today I was at the studio again all day, then went to the gym...but the bus sched sux on sunday - I only burned 650 cal on the EFX...but it's better than nothing, I also did abs and arms at home...today I kinda messed up...I was calorie free until 8 pm - between 8 and 10 pm I had a bit of celery and mustard (18cal)...but then without thinking...not at all hungry between 10 and 130 am managed to binge and not purge on cinnamon hearts (?), skor bits (220cal), few almonds(>100cal), 7chips(65cal), peppercorn goat cheese (70) ...ummm, well....no, I won't I wanted to try to stop...

*edit* decided to b/p .... ate skor bits and oatmeal/raisin/apple cookies....hmm - usually after purging I am almost 1 lb lighter than I am the next morning due to water weight...I am a little worried cause I haven't drank...and I was still at 119.4  ugh - I just need to be under 120.... never over again!!!!   If I'm gonna get cut cause I am too skinny but still be cast by other clients...then when I get 'healthy' (fat) my director still cuts me cause of the possibility I get too skinny again - fuck it!

4.4 lbs lost, at least 12.4 to go

hmmm - I don't know they're heght it playes a big factor in weight, but on Entertainment tonight...or a show like that, they did an update on anorexic twins  - like grown looked like they were 40 something twins, not just the average ana teen - ne ways last time they were 75lbs...this time they were 67...K  - I didn't think that theyre was such a thing as too skinny - ugh - but they were it - they're bony ares didn't bother me, nor they're stick legs, not even concave stomach with EVERY rib and tendon showing - it was they're face - like angelina jolie has a pretty sunken in face same with olsen and lohan...or even skinner holly wood stars - ah - like the chick from ally mcbeal - yes skinny - but I still thought they looked great.  these ladies looked like zombie freaks, they're facial muscles not really working, they're speech was like they were mentally challenged, eyes droopy and lobsided, nasty non hair...but instead of a nice hollow facw - it was so hollow it didn't look like a skeleton (if that makes ne sense) they're noses were tiny like MJ, and you could see the ligaments that moved they're mandible(jaw) - but not in a good way - they honestly looked like fucked up drug addict zombies!!!! (and not like the normal super skinny crack whores who I think look really good size wise...) ne ways - point of this ramble is - I didn't know there was I point I felt was too thin - now I know...I am going to assume they were 5'4-5'8... cause I know when I was in the 80's I looked good...meh random...because I don't do ballet in a body suit or onstage ne more I don't think I will ever be in the 80's again...I would like to be 100-108 right now...but maybe 90's.... if I loose too much weight I can't shake properly...right now I am a small in pants, but am wearing a large sweatpant so it looks like I am shaking my booty - but really I am just moving my leg and the pants are moving over my little bum (I ususally have no bum...that is my goal - no bum...a cup like before.get rid of these newly formed love handles(from getting 'healthy' over the summer) and for my entire thighs not to touch when I stand with my feet together (right now my very upper thighs tough in 1st pos...ewwww)

hope y'all  rdoing well stay true to urselves ladies :) 

k-embarassed - 123.8!!!

I suck - WHen I found out I wasn't doing the show I took a day of grace ( I ate)...then ALL week I have fasted during the day then big bing at night!!!  then wed night they found a donor for my friend -- she had a double lung transplant!!! so far so good, they completed her surgery just after 8pm on thursday!!  Wed night I b/p lots, thursday I ran around doing errands for the director (it's her sister so she had to leave town, and I offered to do her errands) I ended up first eating tuna (80)and a begal(230), 3pm, then 2 cookies(200)@ 5 pm, then chocolate(?220) = 730!!!, then went to rehersal, then came home and crazy b/p on chocolate....then had salad, choc. and crakers and tuna, shit and even a cookie....and didn't p...yeah - bad day!!!! I also got my rag two days ago...it's crazy heavy (cause I'm fat :(  )....ne ways - I can chalk up water and food weight to 3 lbs...but than still means I would be like 120.4 empty :(  It sucks that just last weekend I was between 117.5-119... and i've GAINED weight instead of losing it! I could have been at 115 or lower...but that has ben my mentality lately..the "I could have been at..if only" - well I have to change it since it is obviously just discouraging me and I keep b/p.

Today at least was successful:

burned:   Gym -820

teach 4 hours - 900

walking -  120

abs, arms and strengthening at home - 100?

Intake:  2 hershy kisses at 1130pm = +46 cal

:) I'm gross but not thinking about it...just focusing on my 0 lost, and at least 15lb to go :)

Hope y'all are doing well :) and if u haven't already please join the new blog and invite others - it's the last one listed on the left of my blogs..something like '!!!ana_mia...who can u trust???!!! 

thanx - sorry 4 the gross details ;)

The Rules: The first player of this game starts with the topic "Five things you hate (pet peeves)." and the people who get tagged need to write an xanga entry about their five pet peeves as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and list their xanga usernames. Don't forget to write a comment saying "you're tagged" on their xanga, and tell them to read yours. No double tagging.

1. Double standards (mostly concerning weight issues and what size I am supposed to be)

2. Friends that try to 'help' but make things worse/People who think they 'know u' but don't have a clue

3. My chocolate addiction :( and Society's stupid obsession w/ food.... I hate eating + eating in public

4.  ME! well, FAT - my arms, the fact that my thighs currently touch, the fat chicks who are nasty and prance in little outfits...."uh...hun if I wouldn't wear that, u shouldn't either' lol....I hate...just well...FAT!

5. WHen my dancers don't remember they're choreo/aren't commited, or when I see them eating freakin McDonalds (one right next to our studio)!!! GRRRR!!! no wonder I teach at a FAT ('healthy') studio! 

i have tagged..... finallydoingthis  , nobanana, veggideet, imafathippo, and dangrously_pretty   ...sorry ladies ;)