Monday, April 21, 2008

• Explosion of Fury and Frustration. Yeah.

  I'm rating a post on my blog for the first time ever, because I am really fucking angry and I'm going to cuss and be unpleasant.
  
  I have something that I actually want to blog about, but at the moment I'm just going to use Xanga as a punching bag and vent my frustrations.
  
  Prior to the following, I'd like to state that none of these events alone really bothered me all that much at the time, but due to the glorious snowball effect, I am now completely furious about everything, so they all seem 100x's worse.
  
  I decided to put off my homework last night until after choir and watching Star Trek with Amanda and Rob. I was unsuccessful in completing it on time. Instead of doing homework, I spent around an hour having a conversation with someone about how a relationship between the two of us would not be happening. In addition to that, I was reminded or possibly made aware of the fact that I'm not all that happy with my life in general. I thought on that for a while, called Amanda, talked about counseling and medications, and then  finally went to bed.
  Following this, I attempted to sleep for a while, but my cat, who had been sleeping the entire evening, decided that he would rather wander around and walk all over me/the bed, rather than laying down. Eventually, he decided that an even better idea would be to claw the shit out of my bed. So, I removed him from my bedroom, and closed the door.
  After about 20 minutes of him whining and clawing the carpet under my bedroom door to shreds, I finally managed to drift off to sleep.
  I woke this morning, a bit late, with the unpleasant aftertaste of crushed hopes still fresh in my mouth... and made my way to the kitchen. Skip showering, not enough time, and I'd just showered the night before. Made some toast with strawberry preserves (jelly? jam? wtf ever?), prepared my lunch, and headed to work.
  Work was fine. The temperature was about 80, and felt hotter when I was running around actually doing things, but I spent a lot of the day trying to just will time to go faster so I could leave. About mid-day, I got a call from a credit card company, reminding me that my payment was overdue. I paid, while watching the dismal balance of my bank account, and knowing that in a matter of hours, I'd be writing a check which would basically wipe it out entirely.
  Work continued. Super hot. Finally left.
  As I'm heading to my car, I notice that there's a train moving through downtown. Generally this isn't a problem, as I live on the same side of the tracks as my parking garage, but today I have to go to the other side of town to pick something up for the volunteer group at work. So, I leave the garage, and begin an attempt to avoid the probable 10-15 minute back and forth train session. I promptly go the wrong way, make 2 incorrect decisions on how to correct my route, and finally end up on the interstate, heading to my destination.
  I arrive there (The Dollar Tree) shortly AFTER my employee, who left after I did, and we discover that they don't even have what we were looking for. So, we leave. I decide that despite the dismal state of my bank account, I'd really like to not have to worry about dinner, so I go to swing by Taco John's. This involves some roundabout driving as there are medians and tons of traffic and oddly shaped driveways surrounding the area I'm in and Taco John's as well.
  Finally get my food. Head home through downtown.
  Another fucking train. Turn to avoid it. Go the wrong fucking direction on the interstate.
  Take the next exit, stop at the light so I can turn left and get back on the other direction. Light turns green, and as I start to go, a huge pickup truck speeds through the intersection about 3 inches from my bumper. After making sure that the rest of the traffic is actually obeying the red light, I finally head home.
  I arrive at my apartment complex and head to the office to pay my $250 non-refundable cat/pet deposit, and sign a new lease committing myself to an additional $25/month rent for having a pet. They don't even have the paperwork ready, which was fine, but now I have to go back tomorrow prior to going to my parents' for my birthday dinner.
  Head to my apartment after snagging the mail which contains what look to be two stern letters from two credit card companies about the dismal state that I'm sure my credit is in.
  Enter apartment. Knowing full well that I will be paying $250 for my cat tomorrow, I discover the Wii-mote on the floor, as Toby has decided to rip a few more holes in the sleeve and drag it around the apartment again. Other items are scattered about as well. The garbage can in my bedroom is overturned. And the one shelf that he has never been on has all kinds of shit knocked over on it and various items scattered on the floor around it.
  While typing this entry, the fan in my window launched itself backwards and onto my DVD stand, which luckily didn't fall over.
  In the near future, I get to look forward to fixing both cats, (my office doesn't even know about the other, and hopefully that won't cost me ANOTHER 250/25permonth) getting them front-declawed, getting my oil changed as I haven't done it for probably a year which means my car is about to explode, having the exhaust thing repaired so my car stops sounding like a truck, and getting my breaks replaced, because they are grinding and squealing like crazy.
  I have maneuvered myself into a horrendous financial situation, my personal life sucks, I have two cats who can be very comforting, but generally spend a lot of time trying to ruin everything in my apartment including my fucking awesome red couch which now has rips down the arms from being a scratching-post...
  And I pretty much fucking hate everything.
  Oh, and my classes are shitty and stupid and I hate not caring if I'm doing a completely half assed job on all of my assignments.
  I turn 24 tomorrow, and I have too much debt, too few friends, no boyfriend, no official higher education, and it just fucking sucks.
  
  I want to go take a nap, but there's nowhere I can get away from the cat, because it's fucking hot in my apartment and I need the bedroom door open to have any kind of ventilation. So, someone please remind me that I am not a "pet person" in the future.
  

  • 5:58 PM
  • 20 eprops
  • 12 comments