Friday, October 27, 2006

• wherein you do my work for me . . .

  Currently Listening The Crane Wife By The Decemberists see related

  
  So, Wired Magazine is brilliant, and at this time, I'd like to use my blog as a platform to both pay homage to and shamelessly rip off their idea.
  
  Use the comment section, people. Write the Great American Novel in six words.  Here are the instructions  (they're simple) and the examples ( original link seen here ).  You don't have to read them all, but if you have the time, take it. They're fascinating studies of concision.
  
  . . .
  
  
  

  "We'll be brief: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") and is said to have called it his best work. So we asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves.

  Dozens of our favorite authors put their words to paper, and five master graphic designers took them to the drawing board. Sure, Arthur C. Clarke refused to trim his ("God said, 'Cancel Program GENESIS.' The universe ceased to exist."), but the rest are concise masterpieces.

  
  

  Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.
  - William Shatner

  Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
  - Eileen Gunn

  Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love.
  - David Brin

  Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
  - Joss Whedon

  Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.
  - Stan Lee

  Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
  - Alan Moore

  Longed for him. Got him. S***.
  - Margaret Atwood

  From torched skyscrapers, men grew wings.
  - Gregory Maguire

  Internet “wakes up?” Ridicu -
  no carrier.
  - Charles Stross

  With bloody hands, I say good-bye.
  - Frank Miller

  Wasted day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.
  - Steven Meretzky

  “Cellar?” “Gate to, uh … hell, actually.”
  - Ronald D. Moore

  Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.
  - Vernor Vinge

  It cost too much, staying human.
  - Bruce Sterling

  We kissed. She melted. Mop please!
  - James Patrick Kelly

  It’s behind you! Hurry before it
  - Rockne S. O’Bannon

  I’m your future, child. Don’t cry.
  - Stephen Baxter

  1940: Young Hitler! Such a cantor!
  - Michael Moorcock

  Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.
  - Richard Powers

  I’m dead. I’ve missed you. Kiss … ?
  - Neil Gaiman

  The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
  - Orson Scott Card

  Kirby had never eaten toes before.
  - Kevin Smith

  Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.
  - Howard Waldrop

  To save humankind he died again.
  - Ben Bova

  We went solar; sun went nova.
  - Ken MacLeod

  “I couldn’t believe she’d shoot me.”
  - Howard Chaykin

  Don’t marry her. Buy a house.
  - Stephen R. Donaldson

  Broken heart, 45, WLTM disabled man.
  - Mark Millar

  TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …
  - Harry Harrison

  Tick tock tick tock tick tick.
  - Neal Stephenson

  Easy. Just touch the match to
  - Ursula K. Le Guin

  WORLD'S END. Sic transit gloria Monday.
  - Gregory Benford

  Epitaph: He shouldn't have fed it.
  - Brian Herbert

  Batman Sues Batsignal: Demands Trademark Royalties.
  - Cory Doctorow

  Heaven falls. Details at eleven.
  - Robert Jordan

  Nevertheless, he tried a third time.
  - James P. Blaylock

  God to Earth: “Cry more, noobs!”
  - Marc Laidlaw

  Help! Trapped in a text adventure!
  - Marc Laidlaw

  Thought I was right. I wasn't.
  - Graeme Gibson

  Lost, then found. Too bad.
  - Graeme Gibson

  Rapture postponed. Ark demanded! Which one?
  - David Brin

  Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back.
  - David Brin

  Bang postponed. Not Big enough. Reboot.
  - David Brin

  Time Avenger's mistaken! It wasn't me...
  - David Brin

  Cyborg seeks egg donor, object ___.
  - David Brin

  Deadline postponed. Five words enough...?
  - David Brin

  Metrosexuals notwithstanding, quiche still lacks something.
  - David Brin

  Mind of its own. Damn lawnmower.
  - David Brin

  Please, this is everything, I swear.
  - Orson Scott Card

  I saw, darling, but do lie.
  - Orson Scott Card

  Osama’s time machine: President Gore concerned.
  - Charles Stross

  Ships fire; princess weeps, between stars.
  - Charles Stross

  Will this do (lazy writer asked)?
  - Ken MacLeod

  Cryonics: Disney thawed. Mickey gnawed. Omigawd.
  - Eileen Gunn

  Clones demand rights: second Emancipation Proclamation.
  - Paul Di Filippo

  We crossed the border; they killed us.
  - Howard Waldrop

  H-bombs dropped; we all died.
  - Howard Waldrop

  Your house is mine: soft revolution.
  - Howard Waldrop

  Warskiing; log; prop in face.
  - Howard Waldrop

  The Axis in WWII: haiku! Gesundheit.
  - Howard Waldrop

  Salinger story: three koans in fountain.
  - Howard Waldrop

  Finally, he had no more words.
  - Gregory Maguire

  There were only six words left.
  - Gregory Maguire

  In the beginning was the word.
  - Gregory Maguire

  Commas, see, add, like, nada, okay?
  - Gregory Maguire

  Weeping, Bush misheard Cheney’s deathbed advice.
  - Gregory Maguire

  Corpse parts missing. Doctor buys yacht.
  - Margaret Atwood

  He read his obituary with confusion.
  - Steven Meretzky

  Time traveler's thought: "What's the password?"
  - Steven Meretzky

  I win lottery. Sun goes nova.
  - Steven Meretzky

  Steve ignores editor's word limit and
  - Steven Meretzky

  Leia: "Baby's yours." Luke: "Bad news…"
  - Steven Meretzky

  Dorothy: "F*** it, I'll stay here."
  - Steven Meretzky

  . . . 

  
  

  Awesome, no?  Show me what you got.  Break a literary leg.
  

  
  

  -Jennifer

  
  

  P.S. I'm doing quite well, thanks.
  

  
  

  
  

  • 5:31 PM
  • 48 eprops
  • 35 comments