(Important Update Below)
So, nobody in our dept. had fulfilled their duty of cleaning out the
fridge in the breakroom for all of 2005 (and possibly 2004). I
took it upon myself to clean it out for Sept., since I figure I use the
fridge as much or more than anyone else.
I sent out an email on Monday, both playful and explicit in my
instructions: claim your food or it will get pitched. I even gave
an approximate time (after lunch, Friday) and then gave another 20 min.
on top of that in case people were late.
Well, my boss commended me for taking the initiative on this
incredibly important fridge thing and assigned one of the field
auditors to help me out. To be honest, I could have knocked it
out myself in about ten minutes, but, okay. More fun w/ company.
So, Eric and I went through the fridge tossing out obviously
forgotten food like charred leftover hotdogs from our MAY company
picnic. Eric pulled out a bag at one point and said "Look, the
name has worn off the side."
"Open it up and see if the stuff is still good," I told him.
Yogurt w/ a "use by" date of August 11, 2005 was inside the bag, among other things.
"Pitch it," I told him.
Nearly two hours later, the owner of the expired yogurt was barking at me at my desk.
"There was a name on this bag, and it was worn off!" she yelled.
"Yeah," I said, smiling.
She likes to yell and I like to smile.
"Yell yell yell yell" (I forgot what she said next.)
"Yeah, we saw it in the door w/ the name worn off, so we looked
inside and saw that the food was expired, so we figured it had been
forgotten. That yogurt went out in August."
*Stunned pause as she looked at her bag of crap food.*
"Yeah, I probably did that with the yogurt...Well, the next time you
find a bag w/ a worn off name in the door, that is mine! DON'T
THROW IT AWAY!" She turned and stomped away.
.oO("Yeah, I probably did that w/ the yogurt"...? WTF does that mean?)
I was still laughing about this 15 min. later, so I thought I would share.
Update:
Apparently she was griping to a co-worker in my dept that we threw the
food away ("With the name faded off the bag!!!") and how she was lucky
she didn't have to dig it out of the dumpster.
Um...do I need to say this?
Okay, I'm sure I do.
Lady, if you are eating
stuff two months past the expiration date, then dumpster food is going
to be fresh in comparison. I mean, we work next to a Chinese
place. You could probably eat for months on what they pitch
out! Get out there and get to diggin' and give Barney Kroger the
bird!
Crazy.
And the person she was
bitching to was the one who said the next time it is our turn to clean
the fridge, he is throwing EVERYTHING out. I can't wait.
It is pointless
to bitch about the fridge
not being cleaned
if you are only going to bitch
about it being cleaned.
Thank Jesus that is not my life.

Is it bad that I laughed even harder re-reading this?
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