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| | Writing about writing conferences...is a lot like blogging about blogging.
MWW was superior. It was what I needed, even though I was so tired, and not really enthusiastic about going. I prayed for the wisdom to accept and understand what God wanted me to receive this weekend.
It is hard work, going to a conference. It is kind of like voluntarily saying "Please take the most personal part of me, shake it, stomp on it, and tell me why it's horrible." And that is nothing like blogging. Blogging, even, about your deepest and darkest, and doing it publicly.
Taking your mss to a conference for professional feedback is like taking your blog to a blogging conference and having it ground into the floor by Miss Snark's stilettos. In a nice way. Because she's doing it to help.
And, don't get me wrong, it's not ALL negative feedback. It's not. And the "negative" stuff I got wasn't honestly that negative. It was pretty high-level feedback, which is a good sign (of a hell of a lot of progress made since March, when I frankly needed a lot of basics imparted to me gently).
I know that once the book is for sale, it's product, not personal...I get it. But while it is still being tweaked, it is personal as hell, or--let's face it: it's not interesting!
So, yeah, it's painful. Painful in a lot of little ways.
But it reminds me very much of labor pains. Of what you must go through in order to see the face of that darling baby, after all those long months.
And in the case of a homebirth, the analogy is right-on. To coach the birth, to set out its lures and let loose its calls, to beckon it into your midst and adore it with the passion of a lover, so that you can look back and go "Yes! It was even better than I thought it could be!"
It has been two years and one month since I successfully facilitated a homebirth--the single most fulfilling thing I've ever done in my life. It took months of planning, and a lot of self-brain-washing, and a lot of hand-holding wisdom on the parts of doulas, midwives, and time-traveling moms-by-proxy in the forms of various motherly authors.
I went to this conference to meet a few agents and to see if I was really as hot shit and I thought I was, quite frankly. And I think I got an answer to that. But some of the answers surprised me on a very emotional level.
There were people who saw something in me, and in my work, who encouraged me. There were actually many of them. I even got plagiarized, and the chick who did it won an award. Despite my cranky "I don't wanna go to another conference" mood, I met a lot of cool people who I hope will stay in touch. It was only three (looooooong) days, but it felt more intimate than the week I spent at GRW in March.
And, another two agents requested chapters.
So, you know...I know that my feelings of inadequacy are really disproportionate.
Feelings are not your friend sometimes, you know?
I want to list a few people who really contributed something to my very SOUL this weekend, and direct you to their lovely books, because, you know...that's the next best thing to meeting them, and I think you deserve to meet them, too.
But before I do that, I need to mark down some of the things that were said to me, that I really treasured:
"You have been given many gifts. It is, I think, okay to let your husband carry you for a few months while you finish what you need to finish with the book. Not everyone has been given the gifts that you have. You will take advantage of them, and I see that you will gain recognition for your work sometime in the future, after a time." --Madame Petruska, after reading my tea leaves.
I wish I could share a photo of Madame Petruska with you (an alter-ego of one of the lovely people I am going to list below), but she said the camera disturbs her aura.
I really loved her, whether or not she had a scarf on her head. She was totally a kindred spirit, alive on so many levels.
And I know who said what, below, but I will not mark it down, because I am not trying to be Walt Whitman here. This isn't book jacket blurbage. This is just to remind me:
- "You, I don't worry about. You are a writer. You are a writer. You are a writer."
- "You have a presence. Definitely."
and other things I don't want to forget, that were very nice:
- Lots of gut-level laughter, just shooting the breeze.
- "Oh, wow."
- "You sound like two of my favorite authors."
- "I bet you are a great teacher."
- "You were so fun to have in class, thank you."
- "Good. You are getting it."
- "Just play with the box. Stop looking at the toy inside. Play with the box, next time you go there."
- "I like that."
- "Only about 5% of the people who come to these conferences are going to take the suggestions and make the improvements. The rest will give up, or submit and get rejected."
- "The more you sell, the higher the stakes get. It never gets to the point that you've got it made."
- "There is a dark incident driving all writing, and if that gets exposed and we are forced to deal with it, we will no longer write."
- Ritual. Play.
- Lover on the side, vs. marriage
Here are some lovely authors you should read:
Heather Sellers
Crescent Dragonwagon
Bob Mayer
Steve Brewer
There were many others who were absolutely wonderful and memorable, but the family is home and Seamus is hurt! Will update later.
| | | Posted 7/28/2007 11:11 PM - 6 views - 2 comments
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